The Cutprice Guignol

The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House
May 17, 2017

Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Thirteen

Unlucky thirteen indeed. I hope you’re all having a genuinely wonderful week so I can ruin it. Also, just a heads up – I’ll be heading to Spain for a week to visit my parents (who, yes, are still of a globe-trotting gap year well into their fifties and have been for the previous five years) so general blogging/these recaps will be quiet. Today also happens to be, according to Facebook’s On This Day features, the anniversary of the first one of these godforsaken recaps, so if you’d like to celebrate by going back to the start, you can so so here. On with the chapter!

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I dunno, my crush on Will Arnett is fading after how crap Flaked was and that makes me sad.

 

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May 14, 2017

Doctor Who: Totally Average Run Deserves Indifferent Shrug

Meh.

This review is later than usual, and it’s not just because it was Eurovision last night and I’m consequently a bit hungover. No, it’s because, once more, this week’s episode left me as cold as the vacuum of space and as bland as every one of the supporting cast.

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May 12, 2017

Deconstructing Femininity

What does deconstructing femininity look like?

Because I know how we construct femininity – the same way we do masculinity, through a collection of social, historical, and cultural influences that tell us that if we are born with a certain body type or identify with a certain gender than we should act a certain way. That’s not hard to understand. But what I want to know is what a deconstruction of that would look like through the lens of pop culture.

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May 9, 2017

Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Twelve

The weather’s beautiful, I have Danger Days on full blast and am in full 2010 mode, and me and the cat are settled in for a good night. Time to ruin it!

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Twin Peaks is back soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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May 8, 2017

A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: Bladerunner 2049 Trailer

The new Bladerunner 2049 sequel is out today! Let’s analyse some sweet, sweet neo-noir sci-fi goodness, shall we?

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May 6, 2017

Doctor Who: Termite Adversaries Roam Despite Issues with Story

I think before I get into the normal review, it’s worth saying that, for the forty-four minute runtime of this episode, I really enjoyed Knock Knock. It can be hard to disengage critical brain sometimes, but I happily clicked over into being a regular-ass viewer and it was wonderful. I can get so caught up in the nit-picking and continuity and outright disgust for specific episodes that it can be hard to just appreciate an outing for what it is, but Knock Knock had me damn well entertained. I want that on record, because it’s been a while since I could say that and mean it.

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May 2, 2017

Who Killed Jason Blossom?: A Riverdale Masterpost

You know, I have a serious problem with Riverdale. No, not with the quality of the show, which has swiftly proved itself with one of the most wildly entertaining first seasons in recent memory, but with the show itself. As the season careers towards it’s climax, most of my spare time has been spent speculating on the identity (and motive) of Jason Blossom’s killer, the mystery around which the last dozen or so episodes have been based. I have Riverdale goddamn Fever, and I figured that there was time to squeeze in one more post about the show before it finishes: namely, a masterpost running down my wildest theories and speculations on each and every character on this show and how they relate to the central mystery. Without further ado!

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April 30, 2017

Doctor Who: Thin Adventure Reveals Doctor’s Indifferent Sadism

Well, tits.

It’s time for the yearly review that I open with the reminder of the fact that yes, I really do love Doctor Who. DW is one of my precious baby shows, with episodes that I’ve watched literally dozens of times over with aplomb and adoration. I’ve always known it’s had it’s faults, but I do adore it. I get a lot of people assuming I review Doctor Who for the same reasons I review, say, American Horror Story; because I love to point and laugh and shriek and dance around the wreckage of every episode. But I don’t. I love this show, I do, and every week I go into new episodes with an earnest smile and an eye out for the good bits of each forty-minute outing.

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April 28, 2017

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2

Wee, it’s Friday night! And since this is the kind of evening I’m having:

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If you can imagine this picture, but with From Under the Cork Tree blasting along with it while I sing along at the top of my lungs you’ll get the full effect

-I figured it was as good a time as any to write my review of the most wildly goofy Marvel franchise there is, Guardians of the Galaxy!

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April 27, 2017

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