Ah! It’s Friday and I have some exciting news to share. I feel like I’ve been trying to keep from just blurting this out on the internet all week long, so I’m just going to get right to it.
It would be remiss of me, in this recap of a debut book, not to mention that my very own debut novel Rape Jokes is coming out in just TWO DAYS OH MY GOD. You can still get it at a pre-release discount till then right here – it’s about rape, sexual dysfunction, misogyny, and harassment, so it’s all round a bundle of laughs. Less child abuse than Harry Potter, so…upsides? Anyway.
Before we go the fuck anywhere with this, I just want to yell loudly about the fact that my debut novel is out in THREE DAYS and you can still get it at a pre-release discount till then right here – it’s about rape, sexual dysfunction, misogyny, and harassment, so it’s all round a bundle of laughs. Just like these articles! See, I tied it in.
I just want to remind you up top that my fucking DEBUT NOVEL comes out in FIVE DAYS which means you just have a few days left to get it at a pre-sale 20% discount. Right here! Get on it! Go on!
This week’s outing, American Dreams, is Riverdale’s fiftieth episode. Which could be a chance for the show to pause and reflect on things – but instead, we’re gallumphing forward with the speed and control of a runaway hippopotamus. Let’s get into it, shall we?
Another Disney remake!!!!!! My Favourite!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to be real with you here: nobody at Chez No But Listen happens to be a die-hard classic Disney fan. Star Wars? We got you covered. The movies of Rob Zombies? We’re all in. Batman? Too much, some might say. But honestly, the first teaser for Disney’s live-action Aladdin remake had the internet scratching its head for days, and we can’t miss out on a potential carcrash of the childhood-ruining variety. So here we are,
blue fresh-faced and ready to take on the first full-length Aladdin trailer! Let’s get to it.
0:10: The less said about the Will Smith intro, the better, I feel.
0:21: Alright, I get it, every single action scene ever made has to be shot like John Wick, but this is a live-action Disney remake, can we just leave off for one singular moment?
0:31: I don’t know how many times I’ve…
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I’m not going to lie to you, good fam: I’ve been putting this chapter off because I KNOW it’s going to be a doozy, and maybe because my book? Is coming out? In ten days? And I’m so excited I can’t think? But hey, I’ve got a couple of hours free, a freshly-brewed pot of tea, and some just-baked vegan cookies. Now is as good a time as any to dive into the second-last chapter of the Philosopher’s Stone, and prepare to bid farewell to Harry and company for good. Well, you know, until the next time I walk past that giant Harry Potter megastore in the centre of my city. These books are fucking everywhere is what I’m saying.
It feels strange to be writing this Riverdale recap this week. I know a lot of you are here for the snark on TV’s biggest trainwreck, but there’s a heavy weight on the back of the show right now, and that’s because, on Monday, Luke Perry passed away.