The Cutprice Guignol

The Sixth Year: American Sigh Story

RAPES JOKES: Release Date + Pre-orders!

Ah! It’s Friday and I have some exciting news to share. I feel like I’ve been trying to keep from just blurting this out on the internet all week long, so I’m just going to get right to it.

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The Marketing Department: Spider-Man: Far From Home

DO DO DOOO DOOO DO DO

No But Listen

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OCD, Or How I Never Learned to Stop Worrying

I’m seven years old, and I’m standing in front of an unopened packet of new toothbrushes: four, one for each member of my family. And I know I have a big choice in front of me, because the colour of the one I choose will dictate the safety of all of them. Red? No, too close to blood, which is murder, which is death. Green? A shorthand for sickness, which is death. Blue? Water, which could be drowning, which is death. I settle for yellow, even though it could represent the sun swelling to destroy the whole planet, but that seems like the least likely potential death scenario so, reluctantly, I brush my teeth with that one. I know, somewhere inside me, that this is a lot of worry to be applying to a toothbrush, but I’m not risking disaster for some foolish green-toothbrushed hubris.

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Anatomy of a Career: M. Night Shyamalan

I’m taking a look at the career of M Night Shyamalan – hits, misses, and disasters!

No But Listen

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Chapter Eleven

The cat’s down for a nap, I have a cup of tea and a fully-charged vape next to me, and I am ready to rock and roll with this recap so I can spend the rest of this evening doing this:

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Marvel Cinematic Universe Retrospective: Avengers: Age of Ultron

juuust in case you missed it, we reviewed every single Marvel Cinematic Universe movie over on No But Listen, and you’re obliged to go check it out!

No But Listen

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TV Crossovers I’m Mad Haven’t Happened Yet

Well, last week was all ooh, let’s be introspective about sobriety and ooh, let’s moan about Daleks and ooh, let’s talk about the Spiderman movie and its relationship to grief and frankly I’ve had enough. I want to poke my nose into something stupid and fun and entirely pointless, and so today we’re taking a look at all the TV crossovers I’ve ever suggested while munching chocolate at ten in the evening in front of my third Doctor Who rewatch of the year. To the list!

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Movies We Can’t Wait For in 2019

I’m only living for the Artemis Fowl movie tbh

No But Listen

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Movie Review: Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse

Yeah, this is the best Spiderman film I’ve ever seen

No But Listen

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Chapter Ten

Well, welcome to 2019 one and all! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and that you’ll come join me for another seven chapters of hungering lustily over Rubeus Hagrid, #BaeOfGiants2K19 squad where ARE you at.

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