The Cutprice Guignol

The Fifth Year: How to Get Away with Meh

Doctor Who: Thunderingly Awful – Reviewer Dissects Intolerable Showrunner

Alright, let’s get into this. This review is going to be savage and long, so get yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit and we’ll get into it.

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Doctor Who: Totally Arduous to Really Define Initial Section

Well, that’s me shown. After complaining last week that the show was becoming somewhat forgettable, Doctor Who hit back with an episode that’s going to be niggling at the back of my head for weeks.

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Movie Review: Alien: Covenant

Huh.

When the credits roll on a movie, I’m usually pretty confident in my opinion of it. Yeah, like good wine, sometimes the ideas need a little time to ferment, but I can usually say with some level of certainty whether or not I liked a film or didn’t. But I went to see Alien: Covenant four days ago, and for the life of me I can’t figure out whether I enjoyed it or not.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Thirteen

Unlucky thirteen indeed. I hope you’re all having a genuinely wonderful week so I can ruin it. Also, just a heads up – I’ll be heading to Spain for a week to visit my parents (who, yes, are still of a globe-trotting gap year well into their fifties and have been for the previous five years) so general blogging/these recaps will be quiet. Today also happens to be, according to Facebook’s On This Day features, the anniversary of the first one of these godforsaken recaps, so if you’d like to celebrate by going back to the start, you can so so here. On with the chapter!

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I dunno, my crush on Will Arnett is fading after how crap Flaked was and that makes me sad.

 

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Doctor Who: Totally Average Run Deserves Indifferent Shrug

Meh.

This review is later than usual, and it’s not just because it was Eurovision last night and I’m consequently a bit hungover. No, it’s because, once more, this week’s episode left me as cold as the vacuum of space and as bland as every one of the supporting cast.

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Deconstructing Femininity

What does deconstructing femininity look like?

Because I know how we construct femininity – the same way we do masculinity, through a collection of social, historical, and cultural influences that tell us that if we are born with a certain body type or identify with a certain gender than we should act a certain way. That’s not hard to understand. But what I want to know is what a deconstruction of that would look like through the lens of pop culture.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Twelve

The weather’s beautiful, I have Danger Days on full blast and am in full 2010 mode, and me and the cat are settled in for a good night. Time to ruin it!

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Twin Peaks is back soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: Bladerunner 2049 Trailer

The new Bladerunner 2049 sequel is out today! Let’s analyse some sweet, sweet neo-noir sci-fi goodness, shall we?

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Doctor Who: Termite Adversaries Roam Despite Issues with Story

I think before I get into the normal review, it’s worth saying that, for the forty-four minute runtime of this episode, I really enjoyed Knock Knock. It can be hard to disengage critical brain sometimes, but I happily clicked over into being a regular-ass viewer and it was wonderful. I can get so caught up in the nit-picking and continuity and outright disgust for specific episodes that it can be hard to just appreciate an outing for what it is, but Knock Knock had me damn well entertained. I want that on record, because it’s been a while since I could say that and mean it.

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Who Killed Jason Blossom?: A Riverdale Masterpost

You know, I have a serious problem with Riverdale. No, not with the quality of the show, which has swiftly proved itself with one of the most wildly entertaining first seasons in recent memory, but with the show itself. As the season careers towards it’s climax, most of my spare time has been spent speculating on the identity (and motive) of Jason Blossom’s killer, the mystery around which the last dozen or so episodes have been based. I have Riverdale goddamn Fever, and I figured that there was time to squeeze in one more post about the show before it finishes: namely, a masterpost running down my wildest theories and speculations on each and every character on this show and how they relate to the central mystery. Without further ado!

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