The Cutprice Guignol

The Fifth Year: How to Get Away with Meh

Carrie Recaps: Part Fourteen

So, we’re back – another Monday night, another delve into the bloody (in the cursing sense) and bloody (in the gory, soak-through-six-tampons-in-an-afternoon sense) world of Carrie.

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Fifty Shades Freed is Garbage Abuse Apology, Also Just Plain Garbage

As you guys likely know by now, I’ve been writing about the Fifty Shades of Grey series for several years now. And yeah, if I’m being honest, it’s hard to think of much more in the pop cultural world that pisses me off more than the continued success of the flaming garbage pile: plagiarized from another author’s work, packed full of emotional and sexual abuse masquerading as a dreamy romance, and all-round just a shockingly badly-constructed, badly-written story packed with characters less believable as humans than my cat wearing a small hat, Fifty Shades of Grey is a giant quivering heap of shit that for some reason seems to skate by on the fact that it’s an “erotic” novel aimed at women, and thus most of the criticism towards both the book series and the film one seems to come in the form of tittering about “bored housewives” instead of addressing the myriad actual problems the stories present.

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American Crime Story S2E5: Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

Damn, but this show is on a roll.

After a slight wobble last week, American Crime Story continues it’s ingenious peeling back of Andrew Cunanan’s layers as the story focuses in on the first victim of the previous episode, Jeff Trails, as played by Finn Wittrock.

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Ryan Murphy’s Netflix Shows: A Prediction

As you may have heard, Ryan Murphy, my love rival and general television will-they-won’t-they nemesis, has just taken a deal to head over to Netflix to create a bunch of new shows over there. Now, as a die-hard fan of literally everything Ryan Murphy has ever done (and yes, those are links to reviews on every single one of his shows), I feel like I’m probably a decent authority on what to expect from Ryan Murphy’s new Netflix deal. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at what I think his tenure with the streaming site will look like.

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Riverdale S2E13: The Tell-Tale Heart

Well, they fucking got me.

I honestly cursed aloud when I realized that Riverdale had actually pulled off a twist on my ass – the fed on Archie turned out to be a plant by the Lodges to assure his commitment to them, and I didn’t see it coming, focused as I was by Cheryl’s liquid lipstick game and the fact that Madchen Amick has FINALLY stepped back up into the main cast proper. Anyway, there’s a lot to cover this week, so let’s dive in.

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American Crime Story S2E4: House by the Lake

Well, after a week like last week, there’s always going to be a drop-off.

And that’s not to say that this week’s ACS: Versace outing, House by the Lake, is a bad one, by any means. But after last week’s total blinder of an episode, whatever comes next is going to feel less fully-formed by comparison.

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Carrie Recaps: Part Thirteen

Another month, another Carrie recap. And a brief aside to remind you, with the new movie coming out, that the recap project I so cruelly abandoned in order to take this one on was Fifty Shades Freed, and that you can catch up on all those recaps before the movie (“movie”) comes out here. On with the recap!

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Why The Cloverfield Paradox Doesn’t Work

I wanted to like this one, I really did.

No But Listen

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Movie Review: Den of Thieves

That’s right, I said it – I’m a Gerard Butler fan now.

No But Listen

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