The Cutprice Guignol

The Fifth Year: How to Get Away with Meh

Riverdale Recaps S2E10: Blackboard Jungle

Some might say I’ve taken on too many shows to recap this year. Those people would be right, but they would also be fuckheads about it so let’s ignore them.

If you’ve been following my other recaps (currently, I’m recapping Vikings, American Crime Story, and the novel version of Carrie as well as doing a series of secret TV recaps you can access by supporting me on Patreon), you’ll know that, in the last few weeks, one of my favourite shows has taken a major turn for the worst. Vikings, which used to be my precious baby show that I recommended to everyone while basically bellowing the praises of, has turned into a steaming mire of boredom, sex, and contrived rape plots in the last month or so, and it’s a damn shame to be so let down with a show. And I think in some ways, Riverdale has benefited from the fact that one of the shows I write about week to week is so fucking boring.

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Vikings Recaps S5E9: A Simple Story

Vikings – and I mean this in the most passionate, serious way I possibly can – can fuck off. I can’t believe that a show that I was so optimistic about until a mere five episodes ago is now one of the biggest nightmares of my week. Let’s get this over and done with as quickly as possible so I can move on to less painful things like getting blood-eagled.

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American Crime Story Recaps S2E1: The Man Who Would Be Vogue

So, you know that I’m clinically incapable of saying no to a Ryan Murphy show. I watched Glee. I watched The Glee Project. I watched Nip/Tuck. I watched Scream Queens. I watched so much American Horror Story – God, so much American Horror Story. And I have been disappointing and delighted by each and every one, in various percentages. But every time a new one comes along, no matter how bad that last one might have been, I have to dive into it, whether I like it or not: I have a perfect run so far, and I’m not going to ruin that now. Even if it means sitting through another season of AHS, God help my immortal soul.

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The Future of Found Footage

The found footage genre is always one that has appealed to me so much as a horror fan. There’s an immediacy to it, a purported direct access to this moment and this person and this fear, that appeals to me: The Blair Witch Project is still up there with my favorite movies of all time, but the finest examples of the genre span everything from Ghostwatch to Grave Encounters to to Cloverfield to Baghead to Paranormal Activity to The Visit with dozens upon dozens of movies in between. It’s a genre that attempts to capture something that’s closer to reality than most horror films, and something about that, about the slow picking apart of the real world into some nightmare vision determined to keep me up at night in cold sweats, works.

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TV Characters I Would Fight: Part Six

That’s right, my esteemed blog series has returned: you might be here for the nuanced breakdowns of Stephen King or the in-depth analysis of Vikings, but if you’re really truthful with yourself you hang around this blog waiting to hear about which TV characters I would most like to get into a shoving match with outside a pub in the early evening on a Saturday night in my hometown. To the list!

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Movie Review: Molly’s Game

Aaron Sorkin: still the worst

No But Listen

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Vikings S5E8: The Joke

So, we’re back again for another episode of Vikings and, once more, I put off sitting down to watch this week’s episode way, way longer than I had to. It’s not that I actively hate the show now or anything, but I sort of nothing it. It features no sincerely compelling character arcs, no plots I can’t wait to see the conclusion to, nothing that really excites me any more. But I made a commitment, dammit, and I’ll see it through even if that means having to sit through Alexander Ludwig’s overly enthusiastic rap hands in the process.

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Carrie Recaps: Part Eleven

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No But Listen: The Last Jedi

Just yelling at this point

No But Listen

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Marvel Cinematic Universe Retrospective Part One: Iron Man

Get on board for Wasted Villain Corner (copyright pending)

No But Listen

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