The Cutprice Guignol

The Fifth Year: How to Get Away with Meh

TV Characters I Would Fight, Part Two

Thanks for all your lovely messages of support (and some frankly mean ones of snark, but hey) on my post yesterday, they are all much appreciated and spurred me on over my first major hurdle. And, in light of the fact I have the Not Smoking Rage, it seems as if now is as good a time as any to follow up on that TV Characters I Would Fight list from a few weeks ago, because I realized, with everyone commenting to let me know who they would pummel given the chance, that I had missed out on some frankly embarrassingly obvious choices. To the list!

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Operation Quit Smoking: Part One

Hello, I’m Louise. For reference, this is me:

 

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And the corner of the very cool “Visit London by Tardis” poster I got at a Comic-Con a few months ago, which now taunts me as Doctor Who continues to get worse and worse.

I love smoking.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Fifteen

Yeah, in amongst all this Doctor Who nonsense, it seems as though I’ve let my commitment to my first true blogging adventure slip. Sorry about that. Without further ado, let’s plunge back in Fifty Shades Freed! We only have about a dozen chapters to go, and I’m already planning what I’m going to recap next – any ideas?

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Doctor Who: This? All Really Diversion from the Interesting Story

Right, one thing out of the way upfront: that two-second clip of John Simm’s Master at the end of the Next Week On was, without a doubt, the best part of the season to date, and if anyone was temporarily deafened by the high-pitched keening shriek emanating from my flat, I can only offer my condolences and earplugs. Slap some bread around him and call him a sandwich; hammy John Simm is back, and I can’t fucking wait. 

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*fumbles desperately with trousers*

 

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Doctor Who, Stunt Casting, and the Elusive Female Doctor

So, I write a lot about Doctor Who on this blog, and there’s a question that I haven’t addressed yet. One that, with the end of Peter Capaldi’s tenure as the show’s lead drawing to a close, has been asked more and more: why is the Doctor always a white dude?

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Doctor Who: Torpid Adventure Reveals Descent into Stagnation

I think it’s pretty telling about the season as a whole when an episode like Empress of Mars, this week’s outing, is one of the best of the series.

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Reviewing Every Movie I’ve Seen This Year

Well, it’s election day, which means we’re all way too antsy to sit down and read anything heavy because we need to get up and check the poll numbers one last time dammit so I’m fulfilling my national duty by providing some futile form of distraction to keep you busy until ten tonight when everything stops and starts. Basically, I’ve been to see a bunch of films this year that I never got around to reviewing, so here’s my hot take on shit you’ve lost interest in by now!

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Doctor Who: Turgid Adventure Really Designates Imploding Season

Whew, team. I thought last week was bad, but we’ve reached a new season low with this week’s episode of Doctor Who.

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This jacket is FUCKING GREAT though, in all fairness. 10/10 would smash

 

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Basically Straight

It’s bisexual pride day today! Let’s celebrate by addressing some fuckin’ biphobia.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Fourteen

Hey, dudes and duderinos! I’m back from Spain, miserably cold, with a coffee-drinking habit I didn’t have before and a LUST for BADLY WRITTEN ABUSE MASQUERADING AS ROMANCE. Luckily, EL James is here to sate my hunger with another chapter of Fifty Shades Freeeugh!

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