The Cutprice Guignol

The Fifth Year: How to Get Away with Meh

Basically Straight

It’s bisexual pride day today! Let’s celebrate by addressing some fuckin’ biphobia.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Fourteen

Hey, dudes and duderinos! I’m back from Spain, miserably cold, with a coffee-drinking habit I didn’t have before and a LUST for BADLY WRITTEN ABUSE MASQUERADING AS ROMANCE. Luckily, EL James is here to sate my hunger with another chapter of Fifty Shades Freeeugh!

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Movie Review: Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman had a whole lot to prove.

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TV Characters I Would Fight

Right (drinks deeply from cheap pint) so (gestures wildly with lit fag) I have really strong opinions about TV characters, and basically, here is a list of characters I would strongly enjoy fighting provided that somehow we were relatively evenly matched and also they would let me win. To the list!

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Doctor Who: Thunderingly Awful – Reviewer Dissects Intolerable Showrunner

Alright, let’s get into this. This review is going to be savage and long, so get yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit and we’ll get into it.

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Doctor Who: Totally Arduous to Really Define Initial Section

Well, that’s me shown. After complaining last week that the show was becoming somewhat forgettable, Doctor Who hit back with an episode that’s going to be niggling at the back of my head for weeks.

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Movie Review: Alien: Covenant

Huh.

When the credits roll on a movie, I’m usually pretty confident in my opinion of it. Yeah, like good wine, sometimes the ideas need a little time to ferment, but I can usually say with some level of certainty whether or not I liked a film or didn’t. But I went to see Alien: Covenant four days ago, and for the life of me I can’t figure out whether I enjoyed it or not.

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Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Thirteen

Unlucky thirteen indeed. I hope you’re all having a genuinely wonderful week so I can ruin it. Also, just a heads up – I’ll be heading to Spain for a week to visit my parents (who, yes, are still of a globe-trotting gap year well into their fifties and have been for the previous five years) so general blogging/these recaps will be quiet. Today also happens to be, according to Facebook’s On This Day features, the anniversary of the first one of these godforsaken recaps, so if you’d like to celebrate by going back to the start, you can so so here. On with the chapter!

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I dunno, my crush on Will Arnett is fading after how crap Flaked was and that makes me sad.

 

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Doctor Who: Totally Average Run Deserves Indifferent Shrug

Meh.

This review is later than usual, and it’s not just because it was Eurovision last night and I’m consequently a bit hungover. No, it’s because, once more, this week’s episode left me as cold as the vacuum of space and as bland as every one of the supporting cast.

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Deconstructing Femininity

What does deconstructing femininity look like?

Because I know how we construct femininity – the same way we do masculinity, through a collection of social, historical, and cultural influences that tell us that if we are born with a certain body type or identify with a certain gender than we should act a certain way. That’s not hard to understand. But what I want to know is what a deconstruction of that would look like through the lens of pop culture.

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