The Cutprice Guignol

Doctor Who returns in a month, and I can barely contain my excitement. Despite my apathy-to-active-dislike of last season, DW always knows how to draw me back in just by virtue of being the only show I’ve watched for more than ten years. I’m in now, and I won’t be backing out till the bitter end, no matter how terrible it gets. So, with that in mind, let’s take a look at the newest trailer for season ten!

0.01 – Wow, they’re really trying to make Matt Lucas a thing, aren’t they? I’m not terrifically averse to it, but…huh. Of all the celeb guest stars to have stick around, he was pretty much my last guess.

0.03- Ah yes, the three actually decent CGI shots that the special effects budget has been blown on. Best get as much use of them as we can.

0.14- Emojis. Look, I’m as down with the homies as anyone else (throws awkward peace sign), but something about Doctor Who trying to be hip just….nope.

0.19- Ah yes, it’s not a season of Doctor Who unless they get a chance to dig out the costumes for a pre-Victorian era episode. Will the Robin Hood sets make another appearance?

0.27- I dunno, I like Bill so far (as I did when she was first introduced), but all of the actual science-fiction stuff is leaving me pretty cold. Anyone else?

0.30- OH MY GOD CAN WE JUST HAVE ONE SEASON THAT DOESN’T HAVE A DUMBASS “TWIST” ON THE DALEKS. CAN WE JUST FOR ONCE. FOR ONCE. JUST FOR ONCE.

0.38: “Something’s coming, Bill.” I bet it’s Clara. It’s always Clara. Clara, but in the form of a Dalek, with an Ood tucked into the front of her trousers. Just for the bingo of overused DW shit.

0.39- Right, and I love this show again because that was Missy and I will fight you on the fact she’s an amazing character and pretty much the best part of Capaldi’s run.

0.42- Those BETTER not have been the sonic sunglasses. Those BETTER not have been-

0.45- Blah, blah, space, aliens, space alien squirty water. This is fine.

0:55: Wait, this is called A Time for Heroes? Like….like The Libertines song? I mean, I love it, but it’s kind of ironic to pick the title of a song that specifically bemoans the Americanisation of English stuff, no? I’m reading too far into this. I always am. Whatever, I hate that DW seasons have to come with subtitles now.

1.00- Aaand as soon as the release date cam up I got excited again. I have nil chill when it comes to this show. I’m pathetically predictable.