A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: The New Doctor Who Companion

by thethreepennyguignol

Bitch, please, did you really think I was going to let the announcement of a new Doctor Who companion pass by without comment? I would have had this blog post up last night, but I was too busy drinking rum and being an indefensible bastard- and occasionally breaking to scroll through the Twitter reaction to this new casting. Opinion seems divided, so the best way to figure out precisely what I make of the new Tardis inhabitant is to take this teaser beat by beat. With me?

0:01: Daleks. Great. Can we get an original monster along with the new companion? No? Right, sorry, moving on.

0:04: RUNNING! Looks like she’s dressed sensibly for it- a mark in her favour. Ever since Black Canary was fighting crime in a leather corset and heels (HEELS), I’ve had a weird thing about outfits being fit for purpose.

0:10: In fact, can I just have her whole outfit? I assumed the wardrobe department for the Moffat era only had bottoms that ended about six inches above the knee, but apparently that’s not the case any more.

0:21: I’ve seen a lot of people throwing shade about Pearl Mackie’s eyebrows in this clip. I mean, they’re…there, on her face, I guess?

0:30: Now we’re actually getting some dialogue from her, I like her. I’m a big fan of the borderline-annoying, motormouth assistants (I miss you Catherine Tate), and she seems….(adjusts tie, sits up straight, makes sure everyone is listening)….to fit the BILL.

0:43: It’s pretty cool to see Peter Capaldi not trapped in the Saint Clara plotline any more, even if he is just breathing heavily and talking quickly here. He’s still an awesome Doctor, and it’s going to be fun to see him not bogged down by Clara’s physically painful arc in the next season.

0:55: I’ve seen a few people getting furious about the fact that the new companion keeps talking even as the Daleks bear down on the two of them, and to them, I say: fuck off. This is a two-minute teaser, and it’s aim is to introduce Pearl Mackie as Bill. Anyway, isn’t it kind of cool to see someone who laughs (or just talks super-fast) in the face of danger?

1:04: I liked that line. I will say that the dialogue for this segment isn’t great, but that Capaldi and Pearl Mackie are both pretty fun and they have an easy, chill chemistry which I could get behind. As opposed to having her be THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE EVER.

1:10: “I’ve always been too busy running away.” I mean, anyone who’s watched even, like, three of the six-hundred and forty-eight Dalek episodes knows that’s mostly a lie.

1:31: This is goofy as hell, and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. But considering the whole of last season was far, far, far too serious for it’s own good, maybe this is an improvement.


1:49: Could only afford the one Dalek for this, could they? Got a lot of saving to do for the actual season?

1:59: Overall? I like her. Sure, she’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but as an overly talkative, 25% irritating sidekick myself, I’m feeling her.