Doctor Who: Thunderingly Awful – Reviewer Dissects Intolerable Showrunner
Alright, let’s get into this. This review is going to be savage and long, so get yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit and we’ll get into it.
The Cutprice Guignol
The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House
Category: Uncategorized
May 19, 2017
Movie Review: Alien: Covenant
Huh.
When the credits roll on a movie, I’m usually pretty confident in my opinion of it. Yeah, like good wine, sometimes the ideas need a little time to ferment, but I can usually say with some level of certainty whether or not I liked a film or didn’t. But I went to see Alien: Covenant four days ago, and for the life of me I can’t figure out whether I enjoyed it or not.
May 14, 2017
Doctor Who: Totally Average Run Deserves Indifferent Shrug
Meh.
This review is later than usual, and it’s not just because it was Eurovision last night and I’m consequently a bit hungover. No, it’s because, once more, this week’s episode left me as cold as the vacuum of space and as bland as every one of the supporting cast.
May 9, 2017
Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter Twelve
The weather’s beautiful, I have Danger Days on full blast and am in full 2010 mode, and me and the cat are settled in for a good night. Time to ruin it!
Twin Peaks is back soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 2, 2017
Who Killed Jason Blossom?: A Riverdale Masterpost
You know, I have a serious problem with Riverdale. No, not with the quality of the show, which has swiftly proved itself with one of the most wildly entertaining first seasons in recent memory, but with the show itself. As the season careers towards it’s climax, most of my spare time has been spent speculating on the identity (and motive) of Jason Blossom’s killer, the mystery around which the last dozen or so episodes have been based. I have Riverdale goddamn Fever, and I figured that there was time to squeeze in one more post about the show before it finishes: namely, a masterpost running down my wildest theories and speculations on each and every character on this show and how they relate to the central mystery. Without further ado!
April 30, 2017
Doctor Who: Thin Adventure Reveals Doctor’s Indifferent Sadism
Well, tits.
It’s time for the yearly review that I open with the reminder of the fact that yes, I really do love Doctor Who. DW is one of my precious baby shows, with episodes that I’ve watched literally dozens of times over with aplomb and adoration. I’ve always known it’s had it’s faults, but I do adore it. I get a lot of people assuming I review Doctor Who for the same reasons I review, say, American Horror Story; because I love to point and laugh and shriek and dance around the wreckage of every episode. But I don’t. I love this show, I do, and every week I go into new episodes with an earnest smile and an eye out for the good bits of each forty-minute outing.
April 28, 2017
Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2
Wee, it’s Friday night! And since this is the kind of evening I’m having:
If you can imagine this picture, but with From Under the Cork Tree blasting along with it while I sing along at the top of my lungs you’ll get the full effect
-I figured it was as good a time as any to write my review of the most wildly goofy Marvel franchise there is, Guardians of the Galaxy!
April 14, 2017
A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: The Last Jedi trailer
AW FUCK AW SHIT EVERYONE STAY COOL THE LAST JEDI TRAILER IS HERE NO-ONE PANIC ALRIGHT WE’VE GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL OH SHIT I THINK I’M ABOUT TO DIE BY PUMPED
Ahem. Moving on.
March 29, 2017
A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: It Trailer
Hello, horror fans, and let me usher you into my house and cackle deeply for effect and then we can all sit about and talk about how bloody great Stephen King is. I’ve been a fan of his work for years and years, and may or may not have Derry fan art up in my house right now.
February 1, 2017
27/01/2017 Issue 3
Great wee blog with a weekly run-down of what’s actually interesting in the world of football!
This week Arsene Wenger lost the plot!
He swears his shove on Fourth Official, Anthony Taylor, was merely a demonstration of a lifesaving technique should an oncoming lorry burst through the tunnel. I joke of course, poor Arsene was seriously disturbed by the strange things going on at the Emirates that day. The Gunners 2-1 win over struggling Burnley was anything but normal. Arsenal went into the lead at the beginning of the second half through a Shkodran Mustafi goal, only to play the final 25 minutes with 10-men after the sending off of Granit, “oh shiny red card”, Xhaka (he will now miss the next 4 games). Burley were awarded a penalty which was converted by Andre Grey in extra time levelling the scoring. An enraged Arsene had a run in with the fourth official and was sent to the stands – only he refused to go. The Frenchman…
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