First off, my apologies for the lack of posting the last few weeks: work has been batshit busy, I’ve been travelling a lot, and it’s summer and hot and lovely so I want to be outside sipping on iced soy vanilla lattes and not glaring at Stephen King’s debut novel lately. But this month things are much chiller, and I’m hoping to finish up both the Carrie recaps and the Best Episodes Ever series, so stay tuned for that!
I mean, seriously, where to start with Judgement Night? It’s the tautest forty minutes of TV you’ll see this month, packed to bursting with reveals, revelations, and last-minute twists – and I thought last week was strong. But it’s really an incredible display of the sheer ambition that Riverdale has delivered on in this second season, a climax to a half-dozen plots that have been simmering for almost two dozen episodes leading up to this explosive (literally and figuratively) denouement.
How the hell is this season going to end?
Man, back at the very start of this season, I wrote an entire recap that was more or less about how Riverdale’s biggest problem was Archie. And now, here I am sixteen episodes later, having to accept the fact that the show’s biggest strength is now it’s leading man.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a Riverdale recap that focused on the lead four (Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and Archie) and how their stories and arcs had been unfolding this season so far. But in doing that, I missed out on the chance to talk about my favorite arc of the show so far: Cheryl Blossom.
“Of course he did,” Cheryl sighs when she finds out that her father had a secret will. There’s a lot of moments like that in this episode: of course Fred Andrews has always wanted to run for mayor. Of course Chic isn’t who he says he is. Of course Cheryl’s Not What He Seems long-lost uncle turns up at the family’s will-reading. Of course there’s a scene with an actual, honest-to-God blood pact. Of course.
Well, we’re back after the break with an episode that’s more weird than good – but hey, since the show is focused in on it’s four leads this week (Betty, Veronica, Artie, and Jughead) as they all head up to Lodge Lodge in the woods for a romantic weekend away, let’s break this down and take a look at each of our central quartet, one by one. Starting with, of course, Archie.
Well, they fucking got me.
I honestly cursed aloud when I realized that Riverdale had actually pulled off a twist on my ass – the fed on Archie turned out to be a plant by the Lodges to assure his commitment to them, and I didn’t see it coming, focused as I was by Cheryl’s liquid lipstick game and the fact that Madchen Amick has FINALLY stepped back up into the main cast proper. Anyway, there’s a lot to cover this week, so let’s dive in.
I just want to get it out there right now that it was announced this week that Riverdale are doing a musical episode based on the Carrie stage adaptation, and frankly, if the producers are just going to straight lift ideas from my blog I at least deserve some credit. I see you, Riverdale. I see you seeing me.
Some might say I’ve taken on too many shows to recap this year. Those people would be right, but they would also be fuckheads about it so let’s ignore them.
If you’ve been following my other recaps (currently, I’m recapping Vikings, American Crime Story, and the novel version of Carrie as well as doing a series of secret TV recaps you can access by supporting me on Patreon), you’ll know that, in the last few weeks, one of my favourite shows has taken a major turn for the worst. Vikings, which used to be my precious baby show that I recommended to everyone while basically bellowing the praises of, has turned into a steaming mire of boredom, sex, and contrived rape plots in the last month or so, and it’s a damn shame to be so let down with a show. And I think in some ways, Riverdale has benefited from the fact that one of the shows I write about week to week is so fucking boring.
The Cutprice Guignol 