The Cutprice Guignol

January 23, 2017

Movie Review: Split

Ah, M. Night Shayamalan. I know a lot of people have mixed feelings towards the director whose name is synonymous with “twist ending that makes you slap your forehead in annoyance that you didn’t get it in the first place and/or because it’s totally shit”, but I really don’t- I really like him. Well, I’m not defending The Last Airbender or The Happening, but I have a serious soft spot for even some of his more maligned movies like Lady in the Water and The Village. Hell, I even liked his last movie, The Visit, a very competent found-footage horror that was actually-whisper it- scary. Not to mention, of course, the handful of bonafide brilliant movies he has under his belt- The Sixth Sense (obviously), Unbreakable, and Signs. He’s a director I’m always interested in, because he seems to operate slightly outside the Hollywood standard, for better or for worse.

james-mcavoy-split-image

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 20, 2017

Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter One

Happy Saturday! As the world rumbles towards an apparently inevitable doom, it seemed about time that I return to my pit of despair, my white whale- yes, that’s right, it’s finally time to take on the final part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. With the next movie only a few weeks away, it’s prime time to throw myself at the mercy of the world’s sexiest writer once more. And hope this time she doesn’t force me to read about getting hit on the clitoris with a horsewhip. If you’re new to the blog, catch up on my recaps here; if not, once more into the breach, dear friends- or, indeed, into the bleach, which I imagine I’ll want to chug a litre of by the time this is done. To the first chapter!

Do you get it? Because she’s called Louise and so am…forget it, I’m wasted on this blog.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 19, 2017

Vikings Recaps, S4, E18: Revenge

Well, talk about your game of two halves.

I still think Vikings is a great show. It’s just that it’s doing some major restructuring in the final quarter of this season, and sometimes I can see the dust and debris strewn about a little too obviously, you know?

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-18-revenge-vikings-from-the-great-heathen-army

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 16, 2017

Sherlock Review: The Final Problem

Right. Okay. One last time. Let’s do this thing!

We don’t know whether or not The Final Problem will be the, uh, final problem, but the season four closer really felt like an ending. And if it was, Sherlock died (mostly) as it lived- pretentious, overblown, and, despite it all, a little bit compelling.

sherlockfinal-xlarge_trans_nvbqzqnjv4bqnuhzxaamnmhdqk-ykswrz2o-ymlyyqukcawpydow254

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 15, 2017

Vikings Recap, S4E17: The Great Army

Sorry I’m a little late- I’ve been very busy talking about other things and going to see a bunch of movies because Oscar season, bitch!

(On a brief aside- if you’re looking for something to see, I cannot recommend the new Scorsese movie Silence enough. If you like beautifully shot, sweeping historical epics with a focus on religion and faith, which you do if you like Vikings, you HAVE to see it)

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-17-the-great-army-lagertha-on-the-throne-with-a-knife-resize

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 13, 2017

Review: A (First) Series of Unfortunate Events

You know, in some ways, I’m quite disappointing. Because the fact the Netflix’s new Series of Unfortunate Events adaptation is nigh-on perfect, I don’t get to write a gloomy review a la Lemony Snicket’s classic series.

a-series-of-unfortunate-events-review-netflix-story_1484209888492

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 12, 2017

On Body Image, Part Two

About a year and a half ago, I wrote an article about body image-my relationship with my body, feminism, and the value we place on the way we look. I was really proud of that article, and the responses I got from so many people-many of whom confirmed that they had or did feel the same way I did- made me realize that body image issues plague pretty much everyone, even though they often manifest themselves in completely different ways.

And, eighteen months later, my attitude towards my body has changed hugely. I’d be an idiot to say that all my issues surrounding the way I look were done with- I don’t think they ever really will be, honestly. But things have improved in leaps and bounds since then, and I think that’s worth talking about.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 10, 2017

Sherlock Review: The Lying Detective

Yes, I’m back-considering last week’s review constituted me reviewing a third of the entire series, I figured that I might as well swing back into action and take a look at the rest of this season of Sherlock, too. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at this week’s outing, The Lying Detective.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 6, 2017

Vikings Recaps, S4E16: Crossings

Sorry for the delay on this week’s review; I’ve been busy pretending I’m actually going to fulfill my new year’s resolutions and also putting a wash on. So, we’re back for another week of Vikings- except this time, it’s sans Ragnar. How did the show fare in it’s first episode without it’s main character?

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-16-crossing-ivar-the-boneless-and-lagertha

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment

January 3, 2017

Sherlock Review: The Six Thatchers

Happy new year! Sherlock was terrible.

Sherlock, as I have articulated a couple of times before, is not my favourite show on TV. In fact, I’d go as far to wager that it’s one of the shittest, most overrated shows of the last ten years. Well, in the last few seasons, at least- what started out as a slick adaptation of the classic Sherlock Holmes stories turned into a teeth-grindingly smug exercise of Martin Freeman yelling “we’re not gay!”. Last year’s Christmas special, The Abominable Bride, was one of the most strikingly misguided episodes of a high-profile, critically acclaimed TV show I’d ever seen- so, in my masochistic mind palace, I found myself looking forward to what unmissably bad delights Sherlock would cook up for us this time around with season four premier The Six Thatchers.

the_cast_of_sherlock_on_filming_that_heartbreaking_closing_scene_in_the_six_thatchers

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment