Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter Ten
I hope you’re all having a wonderful week (and, if you’re British, I hope you’re all planning to vote tomorrow and all that), and that I can ruin your wonderful week with another fucking Fifty Shades Darker recap.
The Cutprice Guignol
The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House
Category: Uncategorized
June 16, 2016
On “Angry Feminists”
I’m a feminist, and I have been for a long time. And, even though it’s 2016, I see “angry feminist” cracks everywhere-all over the internet, in the real world, even in banter between ourselves because we know it’s basically a central part of how the world views feminism.
And, in the last few weeks, I have definetly been living up to that stereotype. First it was the Stanford rape case, then the re-dredging of the horrific Vanderbilt rape trial, the arrest of this Dutch woman for daring to report her rape. Not to mention this, or this, or this, or a thousand other stories I’m sure you or I have come across this week. It seems like every time I’ve met up with a friend in the last month, we’ve had some devastating new injustice to discuss. And it’s made me so, so angry.
June 14, 2016
The Best (And Worst) Modern Horror Movies
So, in the last couple of days I’ve found my mind drifting over horror movies again. It’s that time of year- the sun is shining, children are playing, so I want to unleash unholy terror unto the world (or at least my living room). Add to that the fact that my good friend recently restarted his excellent horror movie review blog, and I feel like it’s time to lay out some of my favorites (and some of the ones that horrified me in the non-fun way) from the last few years. Because if someone writes another “Best Horror Movies of the Eighties” list, the world may actually burst at the seams and release some kind of pop-culture-critic cenobites to torture me for eternity, and rightfully so.
June 11, 2016
Why Are Superhero Movies Shit Now?
As I’ve said before, I don’t go in to movies expecting to hate them (unless they’re made by Woody Allen, but then, who could blame me?). But when it comes to superhero films, I often find myself cursing the God who made this franchise pile-up possible- and now that each major superhero franchise has released it’s big blockbuster for the summer, I feel like I can form some opinions on why they all sat somewhere between approaching passable and downright catastrophic (to be clear, I’ll be focusing on X-Men: Apocalypse, Dawn of Justice, and Captain America: Civil War in this piece).
June 9, 2016
Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter Nine
I must admit, I think recapping Fifty Shades Darker has been a damn sight harder than Fifty Shades of Grey. Not because I hate these recaps or want them to die or anything- just that the second book in the series feels like the second book in the series, and despite home invasions and the tantalising possibility of death for both Ana and Christian, it’s pretty fucking boring. When she’s not cramming abuse or horrifically unsexy sex into her novels (“novels”) EL James struggles to do anything else even half-interesting to fill the page. So, with that jolly thought in mind, on with the recap.
June 7, 2016
The Best (And Worst) Sitcom Episodes
It might seem like I’m just a misanthrope reveling in all the misery the world has to offer, but I too like to laugh sometimes.
Irresistible, really. And I’m a big fan of sitcoms-if you didn’t already know-and also putting things in lists for your amusement, so let’s take a look at the highest highs and lowest lows from some of my favorite comedy outings.
June 5, 2016
Popjunk Popcorn: X-Men: Apocalypse
Another swing, another miss for the superhero movie genre this summer.
June 2, 2016
Amber Heard and Biphobia in the Media
By now, you’re probably aware of the ongoing court case surrounding Amber Heard’s abuse allegations against Johnny Depp. I’m not writing because I want to cast judgement on the allegation or want you to do the same; I’m writing because I’m finding myself increasingly infuriated by the media’s coverage of her sexuality.
Because, of course, in a case like this, the potentially titillating fact that Amber Heard has previously dated both women and men is relevant. Oh, wait, it’s not- but considering the media’s constant focus on “Biseuxal Amber Heard”, as if it’s her fucking official title, I could see why you might get confused. And there seems to be a tacit connection being drawn between her sexuality and her untrustworthiness,which is a dangerous game to be playing considering the circumstances in hand.
Look, I know the media’s bad at covering shit like this, but the extent to which they fucked up the coverage of Heard’s sexuality has really surprised me. The case seems to have drawn out the latent biphobia and a wild number of misapprehensions about bisexuality- or at least, a half-legitimate chance to air them. Page Six drew attention to Heard’s “bisexual past“, which is funny, because, as she was at the time they were referring to, in a relationship with a man, that would make it her bisexual present. The Sun (I know, I know) suggested that her bisexuality had driven Depp insane with jealousy in an article with the intensely classy headline “Bi Bye Amber”. Despite no sources other than the usual “unnamed friend”, many high-profile publications are reporting that Heard was aching to get back to women due to her previous “bisexual tendencies”.Peter Ford, offering commentary on the situation on an Australian morning show, announced that “it’s not wise to marry a bisexual” and that Heard met Depp when she was dating a woman and “she decided to travel across to the other side”. The Express outright said that Heard had only dated women before, and sarcastically wondered what “the multimillionaire film superstar” had to make Heard “take a break from the sisterhood”.
I’ve written quite a bit about biphobia in fictional media before. But it’s really fucking jarring to see it happening so blatantly in real life- to see it held up as a sordid part of someone’s past, to see it pressed as an example of Heard’s untrustworthiness. To see the basic fucking lack of understanding that identifying as bisexual doesn’t make you a poor choice as a partner, or drive you to want to fuck around with every woman you know (as the media have been so intent on linking Heard to other women she’s apparently friendly with). The complete failure to grasp the concept that bisexuality doesn’t chop and change between being “gay” and “straight” depending on who you’re with.These are not impossible concepts. These are the kind of things you can learn with ten minutes of googling, for fuck’s sake. And I know that newspapers and tabloids will leap on the detail that will sell the most papers, but it’s still problematic that bisexuality works so well as a copy-shifter.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I am because it stuns me that these hilariously stupid misapprehensions still exist in real life, and are still served up to the public without complaint. It’s terrible to see the sexuality I identify with touted as a lurid detail in this case, and it’s proof and an uncomfortable reminder that biphobia is still very much alive and well in the real world, too.
May 30, 2016
Fifty Shades Darker: Chapter Eight
It’s too hot where I am- the kind of blazing, stifling heat that seems to get everywhere, practically setting me alight every time I go outside which is never because the last time I did I got burned like an idiot. I only mention it because I assume this is roughly how hot Christian Grey is, and roughly how enjoyable, too. On with the recap!
The Cutprice Guignol 