The Cutprice Guignol

The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House

Category: Television Review

Sharp Objects S1E1: Vanish

Bit of an old trigger warning for self-harm right here, if that kind of thing bothers you.

I don’t think it’s a particularly bold statement to say that we look for ourselves in the fiction we enjoy. There’s something about seeing yourself reflected in a story that feels grounding – someone experienced something similar to something you experienced, and they found it profound and important enough to build a story around. A lot of the reason I consume so much media, and certainly the reason that I write (hello you can read about my upcoming debut novel Rape Jokes here thank you bye), is because I’m looking for bits of myself reflected in the stories other people tell and want to do that for other people when I put expose little chunks of myself to the world at large. We define ourselves with stories, the ones we tell and the ones we consume, and that’s become all the more potent in the last few years as the stories that reach mainstream media become more diverse, the topics wider than ever before.

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Zoo is the Only Thing Holding my Life Together

“Wait, there’s a serial killer in Zoo?” My significant other, raising his hand to stop me mid-flow as I talked about the show I’m working my way through at the moment, furrowed his brow. “I thought it was about animals.”

“Well, it is,” I rolled my eyes impatiently. “But the serial killer was the reason the wolves burned down that prison-“

And that’s when I realized I had a problem.

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Best Episodes Ever: The Pilot

Well, you voted for it, so here it is: the first of my new blog series, Best Episode Ever. In this series, which will run for about ten weeks, I’ll be looking at exactly what makes a great episode of television: from premiers to finales to bottle episodes to action, sex, and character studies, I’m going to be breaking down precisely what makes an episode of TV brilliant, drawing on a number of shows, old and new, in the process.

And it makes sense to start at the beginning, so I’m kicking off this series with a look at what makes a great first episode. And the show I’m using to investigate that? The Walking Dead.

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For the Love of Bad Television

So, I’ve been giving this blog post a lot of thought recently, and with Riverdale taking Yet Another Break for three weeks, I feel like it’s about time I wrote about it. Why do I love bad television so much?

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Riverdale S2E16: Primary Colors

A few weeks ago, I wrote a Riverdale recap that focused on the lead four (Jughead, Betty, Veronica, and Archie) and how their stories and arcs had been unfolding this season so far. But in doing that, I missed out on the chance to talk about my favorite arc of the show so far: Cheryl Blossom.

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Why Jessica Jones Season Two Doesn’t (Quite) Work

I didn’t write about the first season of Jessica Jones. There were lots of reasons for that, but the biggest one was because the show felt so personal to me: as I wrote about Lady Bird a few weeks ago, it’s hard to really take a critical look at something that feels as though it’s so tied up in you as a person. And that’s a compliment to the show. It’s hard to think of the last time a run of episodes felt so gallingly specific, to the point where I just can’t take a look at the show on it’s strengths and weaknesses because it felt like jamming a finger into some raw part of my own brain and sloshing it back and forth a bit.

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American Crime Story S2E4: House by the Lake

Well, after a week like last week, there’s always going to be a drop-off.

And that’s not to say that this week’s ACS: Versace outing, House by the Lake, is a bad one, by any means. But after last week’s total blinder of an episode, whatever comes next is going to feel less fully-formed by comparison.

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Riverdale S2E11: The Wrestler

I just want to get it out there right now that it was announced this week that Riverdale are doing a musical episode based on the Carrie stage adaptation, and frankly, if the producers are just going to straight lift ideas from my blog I at least deserve some credit. I see you, Riverdale. I see you seeing me.

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Riverdale Recaps S2E10: Blackboard Jungle

Some might say I’ve taken on too many shows to recap this year. Those people would be right, but they would also be fuckheads about it so let’s ignore them.

If you’ve been following my other recaps (currently, I’m recapping Vikings, American Crime Story, and the novel version of Carrie as well as doing a series of secret TV recaps you can access by supporting me on Patreon), you’ll know that, in the last few weeks, one of my favourite shows has taken a major turn for the worst. Vikings, which used to be my precious baby show that I recommended to everyone while basically bellowing the praises of, has turned into a steaming mire of boredom, sex, and contrived rape plots in the last month or so, and it’s a damn shame to be so let down with a show. And I think in some ways, Riverdale has benefited from the fact that one of the shows I write about week to week is so fucking boring.

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American Crime Story Recaps S2E1: The Man Who Would Be Vogue

So, you know that I’m clinically incapable of saying no to a Ryan Murphy show. I watched Glee. I watched The Glee Project. I watched Nip/Tuck. I watched Scream Queens. I watched so much American Horror Story – God, so much American Horror Story. And I have been disappointing and delighted by each and every one, in various percentages. But every time a new one comes along, no matter how bad that last one might have been, I have to dive into it, whether I like it or not: I have a perfect run so far, and I’m not going to ruin that now. Even if it means sitting through another season of AHS, God help my immortal soul.

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