The Cutprice Guignol

Well, last week was all ooh, let’s be introspective about sobriety and ooh, let’s moan about Daleks and ooh, let’s talk about the Spiderman movie and its relationship to grief and frankly I’ve had enough. I want to poke my nose into something stupid and fun and entirely pointless, and so today we’re taking a look at all the TV crossovers I’ve ever suggested while munching chocolate at ten in the evening in front of my third Doctor Who rewatch of the year. To the list!

1. Riverdale and Supernatural

Look, right, oh my God, I’ve been rewatching Supernatural recently, and I can’t shake this grinding thought at the back of my mind – that this universe seems like a jigsaw piece that would fit in so neatly next to Riverdale. The genre-bending, the goofy supernatural, the occasional hard-hitting pathos – tonally, the shows make sense together. But, more practically, what I actually want to see is Sam and Dean joining forces with Betty Cooper and solving the mystery of the Gargoyle King, butting heads with Hiram Lodge, eating pie at Pops, and generally waggling their eyebrows directly down the meta-narrative lens and turning that single episode into The Most CW Thing To Ever Have CW’d. And you know Alice Cooper would be putting the highly successful moves on Dean. You know it.

2. Brooklyn 99 and The Americans

Okay, but here me out here. I love The Americans, and I’m not remotely trying to say that I don’t take its meaty themes seriously, but it’s all a show packed full of silly disguise moustaches, almost hilariously intricate levels of double-crossing, and scenes that are one singular music cue away from playing as comedy instead of drama. Shift the whole thing an inch to the left, scoot it forward a few decades, and match it with the delightfully cop-comedy of Brooklyn 99 with the cast investigating the doings of the Jenningses, and let The Americans finally embrace its true destiny as the broad, slightly awful comedy it was always meant to be.

3. Vikings and True Blood

For those who don’t know, Alexander Skarsgard played a Viking vampire on True Blood. Over on Vikings, his brother, Gustaf, plays a regular old Viking. You see what I’m getting at here? It is honestly a disgrace to me that Vikings features Gustaf Skarsgard in a leading role in a show about the Norse ancients and never put the full-throttle effort it should have in actually bothering to get Alexander Skarsgard in as his character from True Blood pre-vampirism. It’s right there! What are you doing to me, show/s?

Alright, so those are my crossovers that desperately need to happen already – what shows would you like to see joining forces? Let me know in the comments below!