A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: Thor: Ragnarok Trailer

by thethreepennyguignol

Wee, it’s time for the first trailer for the new movie of everyone’s favourite Avenger, Thor! What a way to start the week. Let’s get into it!

0:03: I offer no comment on whether or not this shot of Chris Hemsworth in chains has ever turned up in any of my fantasies.

0:12: “I know what you’re thinking….how did this happen?” What is this, a comedic freeze-frame from a nineties teen comedy? Saying that, if someone were to recut the Thor movies as nineties teen comedies, I feel like it would work disturbingly well.

0:19: I mean, I don’t know how it took so long for Cate Blanchett to turn up in a superhero movie tbh. I like her absurd cheekbones here.

0:27: This is a cool choice of song! I’m going to have this in my head for the rest of the day and so will you.

0:29: What’s the stag-person from Hannibal doing here?! I only just got over the trauma of it in the TV show for the love of God(s).

0:44: More montage than you can shake a stick at. I have a deep soft spot for the Thor franchise (except for the bits with Jeremy Renner in them) so I am fully keen.

0:47: TESSA THOMSON FUCKING YAS! If you haven’t seen her in Dear White People, I one thousand percent recommend it because she’s bloody excellent.

0:54: Foolish mortals, no mere chains can contain Hemsworth’s absurd arm muscles!

0:57: Jeff Goldblum posing once against the eternal question “can Jeff Goldblum act or not?”. I mean, the answer’s probably no, but he’s somehow made a career out of no-one apparently being able to make their minds up, so…

1:02: This is out in my birthday month! Finally something I actually want to see.

1:04: I like the science-fiction-meets-fantasy stuff here. I think that Thor has always done well in threshing out an actual visual style that doesn’t just meld into the usual “carnage in big cities” of other superhero movies and Ragnarok seems set to continue that.

1:05: Man, I went right off Tom Hiddleston after realizing he was quite a bad actor in The Night Manager, but you just can’t argue with Loki, can you?

1:24: Chris Hemsworth suits the short hair. That helmet looks daft though. Moving on.

1:27: “INCREDIBLE”….Could it be?!?!?!?!?!!??!?

1:30: IT COULD!

1:33: Thor is just a criminally likeable character. If any of this glut of superhero movies is remembered in decades to come, I hope it’s these ones. I’d show the fuck out of these to my kids.

1:38: Alright, I laughed. Trailer: 1, Louise, 0.

1:47: I adore the fact that the title card looks like it was plucked straight from an eighties blockbuster. Shit, I love this trailer. I’m ten thousand percent in for this. Who’s with me?