A Wanker’s Literary Reaction: Suicide Squad Trailer 3

by thethreepennyguignol

After the fiasco that was Batman vs Superman, DC have a lot of damage control to do. Rumours of hasty reshoots to turn the upcoming Suicide Squad movie into a lighter-toned romp abound and, to top them off, they released a new trailer last night at the MTV Movie Awards (which were hosted by Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson, who I now want compering every event in the industry). So, let’s take a look at what the newest trailer has to offer.

0:05: THE FIFTH WORD IN THIS TRAILER IS “SUPERMAN”. I thought they were trying to make us forget.

0:10: With every trailer that passes, Viola Davis looks more and more too-good for this movie, if that makes sense. Also, blah blah, Harley Quinn runs at some bars, Will Smith does some pull-ups in his freakishly ageless body etc.

0:28: The last two trailers had awesome music; this one does not. Already a step down. That said, Margot Robbie hasn’t licked a phallic object or slithered down a stripper pole yet so they might have pulled themselves back up on-

0:39: JOKER! WILL SMITH SAID JOKER! DO YOU GET IT DO YOU GET IT BECAUSE THE JOKER’S IN THIS MOVIE DO YOU-

0:45: Aaaaand there’s Harley Quinn squirming into a pair of tiny denim shorts. Isn’t it funny that Batman’s batsuit can change over and over again and no-one blinks an eye, but the concept of giving Harley Quinn a costume that covers more than 25% of her skin doesn’t seem to have crossed anyone’s mind in the last ten years?

1:00: KATANA! Well, it’s someone asking Katana if she has a boyfriend, but it’s the most acting she’s had to do in the trailers yet.

1:07: Haa, that vexing line was the first time Harley Quinn has done something I’ve liked. Thank God.

1:21: Why is Ballroom Blitz playing now? Oh, this’ll be the lighter tone they were talking about. It’s…..something, I guess?

1:34: MONTAGE! MONTAGE! MONTAGE! GET ALL YOUR MONTAGES HALF-PRICE WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD’S KILLER DEALS!

1:40: Jared Leto’s Joker: still shit, even if we don’t want to admit it as a nation.

1:41: THAT’S BATMAN. THAT IS BATMAN. I HAVE GONE BACK AND PAUSED THIS VIDEO FOUR TIMES AND THAT’S BATMAN.

1:43: Aaaaand now that momentary flicker of excitement is gone as I remember Batfleck and just how thunderingly terrible he was.

1:50: Look, I’m going to be honest: I kind of dig this trailer. The first trailer was too dark, the second too goofy, but this has landed at a comfortable in-between- darkly funny, with cool action and characters I want to get to know.

1:52: Except the Joker. I can’t stress how little I care about him when Mark Hamill’s adapting The Killing Joke.

2:10: Will Smith is the epitome of a leading man and I’m delighted he’s in this. He looks like a lot of fun.

2:15: In a stunning twist, the final trailer tag is actually kind of funny. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.

2:25: Dammit, I quite liked that.

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