So, we’re back – a little late this week, since Solo made my brain come leaking out of my ears and unable to write anything beyond “argh bleeeuuuuh” for the last few days. But we’re back! In fact, we’re flash-back, as this week we take a look at episodes that delve back into the past. And yes, I cringed as hard at that transition as you did. On with the article!
Spring turned to Summer. I went to Spain; I came back. UnREAL ended. My book is coming out. Riverdale is done for. I started a series dissecting television. I sat in parks, drinking kombucha and staring off through the trees, and all the while the wind whispered through the leaves, a familiar refrain: “Write a fucking Carrie recap, you loser, you fucking imbecile”.
What happens when a movie falls apart before shooting starts? Jurassic Park III, apparently.
A pizza cutter of a movie: all edge, no point
As soon as Riverdale opened with the cop-out of Jughead’s death, I knew this wasn’t going to be my favourite finale of all time.
But then I’ve never much been one for a finale. The second-last episode, last week’s bloodbath masterpiece in Riverdale’s case, are normally the real climax of the season, and now we’re just left to tie up loose ends. And the loose ends are…not the most interesting.
The franchise was so preoccupied with whether or not they could have Jeff Goldblum front their movie, they didn’t stop to think if they should.
Our new retrospective is something a little more…dinosaur (and written by me this time around!)
I loved this movie, and I’m as surprised as you are.
So, at the end of last week’s episode, when the Black Hood returned, I thought it made for a great cliffhanger but wasn’t sure if they could follow through. After all, it was the Black Hood plot in the first half of this season that left me so cold – it just felt rushed, unfinished, and in retrospect that’s for a reason, but still. Riverdale had been doing well without a central mystery pulling everything together and I was sad that we seemed to be moving away from that once again. But then, this week’s episode Prisoners came swinging on by to prove me right the fuck wrong and I am all the way on board once more.
The Cutprice Guignol 