The Cutprice Guignol

The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House

Category: random dickery

A Hypochondriac’s Guide to Hypochondria

So, a few months ago, I wrote An Insomniac’s Guide to Insomnia. And, with everything going in the world right now, I figured that it’s only time that I come down from on high to deliver to you my Hypochondriac’s Guide to Hypochondria.

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Stephen King’s The Stand: My Dream Adaptation Casting 2020

Hi! I’m Lou. This is my blog, where I share my Pointless Opinions (copyright pending) for your reading edification. And this week, my Pointless Opinions are rendered DOUBLY pointless: both by the fact that I have actually already written this article, and that someone else has been commissioned to create a “real miniseries” with an “actual cast” that doesn’t “refer to some weird list written by a blogger people avoid eye contact with in the street”.

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An Insomniac’s Guide to Insomnia

Hi, I’m Louise, I’m twenty-four, and I never fucking learned how to sleep!

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Self-Care, But Unironically

It’s Saturday today. It’s the day off I force myself to take; I slept in, did an hour of yoga, sipped on my fancy tea. I call it self-care, even though it’s somehow more stressful to think about taking care of myself than it is to think about work.

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Thank You

You know, I try to do a little post every year, around the time that this blog ages up again. And every year, I go holy shit, people are still reading this? I’m still writing it? And it feels absurd and ridiculous and brilliant all at once.

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The Most Embarrassing Thing I’ve Ever Done

Sometimes I feel like writing analyses of the changing face of bisexual representation on television, sometimes I just want to lightly shitpost because it’s Saturday and it’s too hot to think and I have a crop top that I need to wear somewhere just to prove a point. Today is one of those times. Ergo! I will swap a story for a story: here is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me. I want to hear yours in the comments below, or hit me up on Twitter or Tumblr and let me know there. I feel like I need the catharsis of absolving this awfulness out into the world, so here it is, hopefully for your reading amusement.

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Coming Out: A Timeline

Alright, y’all gay-ass (and other queer-adjacent terminology-ass) motherfuckers: it’s Pride month, and that means I’ve got to squeeze in some LGBT content amongst my searingly incisive deep-dives into how shit Gotham is. I mean, I already have, just a little, but there’s always room for more.

For me, and for everyone else I know who’s had to do it, coming to terms with and coming out with your non-straight, non-cis-ness is usually a long, drawn-out, painful, exciting, scary, affirming dream-nightmare of a process. So I thought I’d give you a little poke around my own self-serving fascination with storifying my own history to indignantly boring effect everything that led to me coming out! I’ve covered some of my experiences previously here, but this time I just want to get stuck in to all the weird little details that turned me into the unstraight I am today. Let’s get to it!

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The Best Performances in Bad TV Shows

So, we love a little blog synergy around here, right? Well, this week over at our film blog No But Listen, we’ve been looking at the best performances in bad movies, and that got me to thinking – who fills that gap on the small screen? So many bad shows to choose from, so little time, but I’ve narrowed it down to my three favourites. To the list!

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A Week of Blogsitivity

So, you might have noticed that I haven’t been posting on this blog for the last week or so (well, unless you happen to be a Patron, in which case you get access to an exclusive, secret post every month – why not treat yourself from as little a a buck a month?). And, in my time away, I’ve been thinking: man, I could do with a little positivity around here, you know what I mean?

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I Have a Terrible Taste in Music

Every time I’m at a party, a gathering, a meeting of minds, the conversation will, at some point, turn to what music we’re going to listen to. Which bitingly modern EP will make the cut? Which classic album should we dissect once more? Only one question hangs between us, unspoken, because the answer needs not be heard. Because there’s no way in hell that anyone is letting me pick the band. Hi, I’m Louise, I’m twenty-four, and I never fucking learned how to listen to music!

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