The Cutprice Guignol

The Sixth Year: American Sigh Story

Category: random dickery

Ruthless Release Announcement!

Yay! It’s Monday, and I have a new release to share with you all! Without further ado, let me introduce you to Ruthless.

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The Thing

For as long as I can remember, I have used things to keep me safe from the way I feel.

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NaNoWriMo: A Survival Guide

Well, here we are again: at the end of October, just about to tip over from “spooky season” into “really fucking terrifying season”, thanks to the fact that many of us will be taking up the hallowed mantel of National Novel Writing Month and putting our stories to the page over the course of November.

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ALPHA FEMALE Release Announcement!

We’ve all been there: it’s Monday, you’re staring down the week ahead with dread in your heart, you just wish something would come along to stretch that weekend out a little longer. Well, I’ve got you covered, bitch!

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Does This Need Tits?: A Beginner’s Guide

We’ve all been there. You’re a TV writer/director and you need to turn in a script, but there’s a little something missing. Action? No, you’ve got that. Drama? That’s ticked off too. Dragons? I mean, yeah, probably that as well. Aha! You’ve got it. This is a TV show with women in it, and that means you need to cram in some topless scenes and jiggle some titties in the face of your audience.

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Zoo is the Only Thing Holding my Life Together

“Wait, there’s a serial killer in Zoo?” My significant other, raising his hand to stop me mid-flow as I talked about the show I’m working my way through at the moment, furrowed his brow. “I thought it was about animals.”

“Well, it is,” I rolled my eyes impatiently. “But the serial killer was the reason the wolves burned down that prison-“

And that’s when I realized I had a problem.

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The Stages of the England Fan

Well, it’s the World Cup – and I know many of you are probably seething with infuriation at having to even think about it for a split second, but I love football and I love the World Cup. What I don’t love about the World Cup? The fucking England squad.

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Rape Jokes Q&A

Hey! In case you missed it, I have a book coming out – my debut novel, Rape Jokes, is getting a print and ebook release at the end of this year with the amazing Frayed Edge Press. And you guys had some questions about Rape Jokes (everyone does when they hear that title). So, without further ado, let’s get into the Q&A and talk about release dates, titles, bad ideas, and everything in between!

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The Most Exciting News in the World (Plus Q&A)

I still can’t believe I actually get to write this post. But here goes. This is pretty much the most exciting, terrifying, holy-shit-this-mix-of-emotions-is-going-to-make-me-burst-into-tears announcement I’ve ever made in my life, and so I’m just going to blurt this on to your lap before I spend another half-hour dancing around the house with excitement.

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Why Phoebe is The Best Friend

It’s Sunday, I’m chilling after a busy week, and that means it’s time to wave my arms about and knock my coffee into your lap explaining why one of my opinions has Always Been Right (speaking of TV opinions, I’m running a poll over on Twitter that you can vote in right now to choose my next TV writing project). And this week, to belatedly celebrate the fact that every British person I know has been compulsively bingeing Friends since it came on Netflix, I’m going to prove once and for all why Phoebe is the best Friend.

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