The Cutprice Guignol

I’m going to be real with you: writing this blog, this last month, has been tough.

Honestly, these last few weeks have been…sheesh. Just a few weeks ago (or was it nine years? Who knows) I felt like I could probably cope with this whole lockdown situation pretty well without much, you know, crushing depression and crippling anxiety. But, when Man makes plans, God laughs, and then Man cries a little bit in bed listening to the Magnetic Fields to really drive home the melancholy.

It’s hard, at times like this, to believe that doing something as silly as running this blog could be anything close to worthwhile. This is a tiny, insignificant little corner of the internet – it’s mine, and I like it, but that’s what it is. And finding the motivation to keep it going lately has been hard My brilliant partner has hopped in to help out with some X-Files reviews,  because every time I sit down to write a post, I find myself second-guessing if its worth it. Could it be, possibly, potentially, that recapping Lost is not an endeavour of life-altering importance?

Basically, creativity feels secondary right now, when practicality is taking the front seat. With everything focused on the immediate, here-and-now choices we’re making every day to stay safe, to protect the people with love, and to overcome this crisis as soon as we can. Never have the desicions that I’ve made every day had such immediate importance, and considering that takes up a hell of a lot of brainspace that feels vital. Everything that doesn’t feed into that feels a little…besides the point, you know?

So I just wanted to share this post to make this point, to myself and anyone else feeling the same way: it’s not secondary. I can’t tell you how grateful I have been these last few weeks for music, for books, for games, for blogs and TV shows and poems and Youtube videos and everything else creative.

In a time of pure, unadultarated insanity, when there has been so little of weight to hold on to, if it wasn’t for creative people putting out stuff that they, too, probably think is secondary or silly or uncalled for right now, there would have been days where I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed. Whether it’s a bad film or a great book or a particularly arch meme, being able to detach from reality into the comforting hug of something creative is honestly a gift.

So, thank you to the people who are still doing it, and thank you even more to the people who read and comment and share my work here: this blog, as it has always been, is my safe place to come and spew out my thunkings, and every time one of you goes out of your way to interact with the nonsense that I throw out on here (even just to agree that Naveen Andrews is, indeed, a banging hottie), it reminds me that we’re all in need of a little distraction right now. Even if it isn’t changing the world, a little creativity could be changing someone’s day from worse to at least marginally better, and that is reason enough to keep producing those things that you love. Because, I guarantee you – other people love them, too.

If you liked this post and want to see more stuff like it, please consider supporting me on Patreon. And if you’re looking for some more distraction, go ahead and jump on over to my film site, No But Listen!