Operation Quit Smoking, Part Six
The novelty has thoroughly worn off quitting smoking.
I haven’t had a cigarette since my slip a couple of weeks ago, and I haven’t had much of a craving for one since then – I’ve even basically forgotten about my vape. I’m down to chewing gum once in a while and watching loads and loads and loads of movies to fill the time. And that’s something I’m not used to.
Quitting smoking has, up until now, been A Big Thing in my life every time it’s happened. I’ve bemoaned it, struggled against it, failed at it. But it has always been something. But now, I’ve been quit for almost six weeks and it just feels like a given now. And that’s dangerous.
When I pour all my energy into quitting smoking, it feels like a challenge, and I fucking never fail in the face of a challenge. Someone tells me I can’t do something and I will do it and then grind the results into their face: it’s why I ended up teaching myself advanced higher Spanish in high school like the stubborn nightmare I am. So, when I started this and put it on the internet for everyone to shout at me about, I was committed to proving I could succeed (with the odd slip for dramatic third-act effect, of course). Now that I have sort of done it – now that I don’t have cravings or particularly want to smoke or even vape – the whole thing has grown uninteresting to me again. And it’s precisely when I take my eye off the ball that I find myself picking up smoking again. Just because.
I’m trying to keep focused on the achievement of quitting smoking, and have made myself tick-boxes to go on the back of my bedroom door in an attempt to keep that feeling going. Because, as the whore for success that I am, I need it constantly reinforced that not smoking is more interesting than smoking.
What did you do to keep yourself motivated when you quit? How long till not-smoking became your new normal? Let me know in the comments, or hit me up on Twitter!