A Definitive List of Things I Like on Game of Thrones More Than Jon Snow
by thethreepennyguignol
I have some important thoughts I’d like to share with you- mainly, the definitive list of things I like better than Jon Snow.
- Brienne of Tarth
- Cercei’s favourite wine cup
- Joffery
- The gratuitous rape scenes
- Jon Snow’s costuming choices
- The terrible Blood of my Blood episode
- Dorne
- Jon Snow’s stupid hair
- Jon Snow’s stupid facial hair
- Burning children
- Every scene set in a brothel
- The line “FUCK ‘EM TILL THEIR DEAD”
- This drinking game for season seven c/o flaskaholic.com
- Tyrion’s scar
- Sir Lloris’ love of women’s robes
- Tommen Lannister’s cat, Sir Pounce
- The Hound’s code
- Theon’s favourite toy
- Ramsay’s poison pen letters
- The theme song
- Hodor’s entire arc (RIP big man)
- Being the God of tits and wine
- Baby dragons
- Khaleesi emerging from the flames naked at the end of season one even though she DEFINETLEY could have magicked up some clothes if she survived BEING BURNT ALIVE BASICALLY
- CGI boobs
- Oberyn Martell and his headache
- The Mountain’s scintillating dialogue
- All the direwolves, ALL of them
- Wolf-shaped bread
- Lemon cake
- Holding doors
- Joffery taking the stool away
- The Tywin Lannister school of good parenting
- That scene where Jon Snow does a big speech to convince the Knight’s Watch to come to Craster’s Keep and they all stand up just to get him to stop fucking talking.
- Littlefinger’s magic ever-changing accent
- Varys’ stunning dress sense
- Iwan Rheon’s pretty eyes
- The ever-shrinking Stark family newsletter
- That baby the White Walkers turn in that one episode
- SEXPOSITION
- Jon Snow’s sword
- Tormund eyefucking Brienne
- The mother of drag-ing on plots
- Boobs, boobs, boobs
- Some vag
- More boobs
- Historically inaccurate landing strips
- The fact that I can count the times I’ve seen a dick on this show on, like, one hand
- Tyrion dragging the chair
- Tyrion’s bitchslap to Joffery
- Cercei Lannister school of parenting
- Jamie’s fake hand
- Ian Mcshane
- Johanthan Pryce
- The arc dealing with misogyny in the church that also had boobs in it
- The pool of blood on Walder Frey’s floor
- Castle Black
- The fact that the show deviated from it’s source material to add in a rape for no discernible reason
- The Iron Throne
- I’m going to put the theme song here again, because have you even heard it?
- That bit where if Rickon had run in a zigzag he’d still be alive today
- All the horses, ALL of them
- The easy charm of Stannis Baratheon
- Each and every one of the background prostitutes
- Every flake of snow
- Every ray of sunshine
- Every drop of rain
- Ygritte, even though she let Jon Snow dick her
- That kid who stabbed Jon- Oli? Yeah, he’s down.
- The fact that season four really jumped the shark
- That one, beautiful, fleeting scene where it looked like Jon might be dead, but then wasn’t, so we had to put up with the whole cast and crew gurning about the “secret” for the next fifteen years
- Hardholme
- The Battle of the Bastards
- Peter Dinklage, obviously
- Jon Snow’s HILARIOUS sad face (I mean, scroll back up and look at that, and tell me it’s not a bit hilarious
- Arya’s blindness
- That bit where Cercei releases the wildfire and the entire of King’s Landing is consumed in a firey ball of death, and Maergery KNEW and she could have SAVED EVERYONE and-
- Kit Harrington