A Definitive List of Things I Like on Game of Thrones More Than Jon Snow

by thethreepennyguignol

I have some important thoughts I’d like to share with you- mainly, the definitive list of things I like better than Jon Snow.

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  1. Brienne of Tarth
  2. Cercei’s favourite wine cup
  3. Joffery
  4. The gratuitous rape scenes
  5. Jon Snow’s costuming choices
  6. The terrible Blood of my Blood episode
  7. Dorne
  8. Jon Snow’s stupid hair
  9. Jon Snow’s stupid facial hair
  10. Burning children
  11. Every scene set in a brothel
  12. The line “FUCK ‘EM TILL THEIR DEAD”
  13. This drinking game for season seven c/o flaskaholic.com
  14.  Tyrion’s scar
  15. Sir Lloris’ love of women’s robes
  16. Tommen Lannister’s cat, Sir Pounce
  17. The Hound’s code
  18. Theon’s favourite toy
  19. Ramsay’s poison pen letters
  20. The theme song
  21. Hodor’s entire arc (RIP big man)
  22. Being the God of tits and wine
  23. Baby dragons
  24. Khaleesi emerging from the flames naked at the end of season one even though she DEFINETLEY could have magicked up some clothes if she survived BEING BURNT ALIVE BASICALLY
  25. CGI boobs
  26. Oberyn Martell and his headache
  27. The Mountain’s scintillating dialogue
  28. All the direwolves, ALL of them
  29. Wolf-shaped bread
  30. Lemon cake
  31. Holding doors
  32. Joffery taking the stool away
  33. The Tywin Lannister school of good parenting
  34.  That scene where Jon Snow does a big speech to convince the Knight’s Watch to come to Craster’s Keep and they all stand up just to get him to stop fucking talking.
  35. Littlefinger’s magic ever-changing accent
  36. Varys’ stunning dress sense
  37. Iwan Rheon’s pretty eyes
  38. The ever-shrinking Stark family newsletter
  39. That baby the White Walkers turn in that one episode
  40. SEXPOSITION
  41. Jon Snow’s sword
  42. Tormund eyefucking Brienne
  43. The mother of drag-ing on plots
  44. Boobs, boobs, boobs
  45. Some vag
  46. More boobs
  47. Historically inaccurate landing strips
  48. The fact that I can count the times I’ve seen a dick on this show on, like, one hand
  49. Tyrion dragging the chair
  50. Tyrion’s bitchslap to Joffery
  51. Cercei Lannister school of parenting
  52. Jamie’s fake hand
  53. Ian Mcshane
  54. Johanthan Pryce
  55. The arc dealing with misogyny in the church that also had boobs in it
  56. The pool of blood on Walder Frey’s floor
  57. Castle Black
  58. The fact that the show deviated from it’s source material to add in a rape for no discernible reason
  59. The Iron Throne
  60. I’m going to put the theme song here again, because have you even heard it?
  61. That bit where if Rickon had run in a zigzag he’d still be alive today
  62. All the horses, ALL of them
  63. The easy charm of Stannis Baratheon
  64. Each and every one of the background prostitutes
  65. Every flake of snow
  66. Every ray of sunshine
  67. Every drop of rain
  68. Ygritte, even though she let Jon Snow dick her
  69. That kid who stabbed Jon- Oli? Yeah, he’s down.
  70. The fact that season four really jumped the shark
  71. That one, beautiful, fleeting scene where it looked like Jon might be dead, but then wasn’t, so we had to put up with the whole cast and crew gurning about the “secret” for the next fifteen years
  72. Hardholme
  73. The Battle of the Bastards
  74. Peter Dinklage, obviously
  75. Jon Snow’s HILARIOUS sad face (I mean, scroll back up and look at that, and tell me it’s not a bit hilarious
  76. Arya’s blindness
  77. That bit where Cercei releases the wildfire and the entire of King’s Landing is consumed in a firey ball of death, and Maergery KNEW and she could have SAVED EVERYONE and-
  78. Kit Harrington