The Cutprice Guignol

The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House

Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter One

Happy Saturday! As the world rumbles towards an apparently inevitable doom, it seemed about time that I return to my pit of despair, my white whale- yes, that’s right, it’s finally time to take on the final part of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. With the next movie only a few weeks away, it’s prime time to throw myself at the mercy of the world’s sexiest writer once more. And hope this time she doesn’t force me to read about getting hit on the clitoris with a horsewhip. If you’re new to the blog, catch up on my recaps here; if not, once more into the breach, dear friends- or, indeed, into the bleach, which I imagine I’ll want to chug a litre of by the time this is done. To the first chapter!

tumblr_o39h2ryz7l1v4j4txo1_500

Do you get it? Because she’s called Louise and so am…forget it, I’m wasted on this blog.

Read the rest of this entry »

Vikings Recaps, S4, E18: Revenge

Well, talk about your game of two halves.

I still think Vikings is a great show. It’s just that it’s doing some major restructuring in the final quarter of this season, and sometimes I can see the dust and debris strewn about a little too obviously, you know?

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-18-revenge-vikings-from-the-great-heathen-army

Read the rest of this entry »

Sherlock Review: The Final Problem

Right. Okay. One last time. Let’s do this thing!

We don’t know whether or not The Final Problem will be the, uh, final problem, but the season four closer really felt like an ending. And if it was, Sherlock died (mostly) as it lived- pretentious, overblown, and, despite it all, a little bit compelling.

sherlockfinal-xlarge_trans_nvbqzqnjv4bqnuhzxaamnmhdqk-ykswrz2o-ymlyyqukcawpydow254

Read the rest of this entry »

Vikings Recap, S4E17: The Great Army

Sorry I’m a little late- I’ve been very busy talking about other things and going to see a bunch of movies because Oscar season, bitch!

(On a brief aside- if you’re looking for something to see, I cannot recommend the new Scorsese movie Silence enough. If you like beautifully shot, sweeping historical epics with a focus on religion and faith, which you do if you like Vikings, you HAVE to see it)

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-17-the-great-army-lagertha-on-the-throne-with-a-knife-resize

Read the rest of this entry »

Review: A (First) Series of Unfortunate Events

You know, in some ways, I’m quite disappointing. Because the fact the Netflix’s new Series of Unfortunate Events adaptation is nigh-on perfect, I don’t get to write a gloomy review a la Lemony Snicket’s classic series.

a-series-of-unfortunate-events-review-netflix-story_1484209888492

Read the rest of this entry »

On Body Image, Part Two

About a year and a half ago, I wrote an article about body image-my relationship with my body, feminism, and the value we place on the way we look. I was really proud of that article, and the responses I got from so many people-many of whom confirmed that they had or did feel the same way I did- made me realize that body image issues plague pretty much everyone, even though they often manifest themselves in completely different ways.

And, eighteen months later, my attitude towards my body has changed hugely. I’d be an idiot to say that all my issues surrounding the way I look were done with- I don’t think they ever really will be, honestly. But things have improved in leaps and bounds since then, and I think that’s worth talking about.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sherlock Review: The Lying Detective

Yes, I’m back-considering last week’s review constituted me reviewing a third of the entire series, I figured that I might as well swing back into action and take a look at the rest of this season of Sherlock, too. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at this week’s outing, The Lying Detective.

1

Read the rest of this entry »

Vikings Recaps, S4E16: Crossings

Sorry for the delay on this week’s review; I’ve been busy pretending I’m actually going to fulfill my new year’s resolutions and also putting a wash on. So, we’re back for another week of Vikings- except this time, it’s sans Ragnar. How did the show fare in it’s first episode without it’s main character?

historys-vikings-season-4-part-2-episode-16-crossing-ivar-the-boneless-and-lagertha

Read the rest of this entry »

Sherlock Review: The Six Thatchers

Happy new year! Sherlock was terrible.

Sherlock, as I have articulated a couple of times before, is not my favourite show on TV. In fact, I’d go as far to wager that it’s one of the shittest, most overrated shows of the last ten years. Well, in the last few seasons, at least- what started out as a slick adaptation of the classic Sherlock Holmes stories turned into a teeth-grindingly smug exercise of Martin Freeman yelling “we’re not gay!”. Last year’s Christmas special, The Abominable Bride, was one of the most strikingly misguided episodes of a high-profile, critically acclaimed TV show I’d ever seen- so, in my masochistic mind palace, I found myself looking forward to what unmissably bad delights Sherlock would cook up for us this time around with season four premier The Six Thatchers.

the_cast_of_sherlock_on_filming_that_heartbreaking_closing_scene_in_the_six_thatchers

Read the rest of this entry »

The Best and Worst of 2016

Well, that’s it- the end of what has been the worst year in living memory if you only ask millenials. But amongst the terrifying politics, celebrity deaths, and Game of Thrones somehow having a turnabout of a season and pretty much redeeming itself, pop culture offered a welcome distraction. Some of it good- most of it bad, if we’re honest. So, without further ado, let’s see out this godforsaken year by drinking rum, petting cats, and discussing the best-and worst-pop culture had to offer in the last twelve months.

Read the rest of this entry »