Before we go the fuck anywhere with this, I just want to yell loudly about the fact that my debut novel is out in THREE DAYS and you can still get it at a pre-release discount till then right here – it’s about rape, sexual dysfunction, misogyny, and harassment, so it’s all round a bundle of laughs. Just like these articles! See, I tied it in.
I just want to remind you up top that my fucking DEBUT NOVEL comes out in FIVE DAYS which means you just have a few days left to get it at a pre-sale 20% discount. Right here! Get on it! Go on!
This week’s outing, American Dreams, is Riverdale’s fiftieth episode. Which could be a chance for the show to pause and reflect on things – but instead, we’re gallumphing forward with the speed and control of a runaway hippopotamus. Let’s get into it, shall we?
Another Disney remake!!!!!! My Favourite!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to be real with you here: nobody at Chez No But Listen happens to be a die-hard classic Disney fan. Star Wars? We got you covered. The movies of Rob Zombies? We’re all in. Batman? Too much, some might say. But honestly, the first teaser for Disney’s live-action Aladdin remake had the internet scratching its head for days, and we can’t miss out on a potential carcrash of the childhood-ruining variety. So here we are, blue fresh-faced and ready to take on the first full-length Aladdin trailer! Let’s get to it.
0:10: The less said about the Will Smith intro, the better, I feel.
0:21: Alright, I get it, every single action scene ever made has to be shot like John Wick, but this is a live-action Disney remake, can we just leave off for one singular moment?
0:31: I don’t know how many times I’ve…
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…stars Michael Parkinson.
I’m not going to lie to you, good fam: I’ve been putting this chapter off because I KNOW it’s going to be a doozy, and maybe because my book? Is coming out? In ten days? And I’m so excited I can’t think? But hey, I’ve got a couple of hours free, a freshly-brewed pot of tea, and some just-baked vegan cookies. Now is as good a time as any to dive into the second-last chapter of the Philosopher’s Stone, and prepare to bid farewell to Harry and company for good. Well, you know, until the next time I walk past that giant Harry Potter megastore in the centre of my city. These books are fucking everywhere is what I’m saying.
Lee Cronin’s extraordinary horror debut explores the aftershocks of trauma against a stark Irish backdrop.
It feels strange to be writing this Riverdale recap this week. I know a lot of you are here for the snark on TV’s biggest trainwreck, but there’s a heavy weight on the back of the show right now, and that’s because, on Monday, Luke Perry passed away.
You know, the final season of Game of Thrones is coming out next month and I feel like it’s the end of an era: not a good one, of course, because I despise Game of Thrones and always have. Yes, it’s a well-made show and I admire the artistic blah blah fan appeasement blah, but it’s just not for me. Never has been, never will be. And yet, this is the most virulent pandemic of a pop culture disease that has existed in my lifetime – bigger than Breaking Bad, bigger than Doctor Who, Game of Thrones has been following my unwilling ass around like Jamie Dornan getting into character for his latest role. I’ve watched almost all of the show, just trying to get to that point where it clicks and I go “ah, yes, this is what I’ve been missing!”. It still hasn’t happened.
Some thoughts on those bullshit new Oscars rule proposals
HEY! Did you know that my debut novel, Rape Jokes, is coming out in just a couple of weeks, via the amazing Frayed Edge Pres? I’m so screechingly excited about this that I feel like I need a little lie down just to handle it, but before I put the wet towel over my eyes, I figured I’d share everything you need to know about my book with my dearest blog readers.
