The Cutprice Guignol

The Ninth Year: The Haunting of Swill House
October 8, 2019

The Best of Alternative Halloween Horror TV

Hi! I’m Louise, I’m twenty-four, and the only thing that gives my life meaning is the horror genre! It’s October, which means I actually have a tenuous reason to talk about the genre for a change, as if I need one.

I’m a huge fan of horror television, and man, is there some good stuff out there – The Haunting of Hill House, Marianne, the first two seasons of American Horror Story but Certainly Not the newest ones – but I want to share some of my newest discoveries to creep you out this Halloween season. From slashers to zombies to, uh, miscellaneous, let’s dive into the sPoOkiEst series out there.

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October 7, 2019

Star Wars Cinematic Universe Retrospective: Solo: A Star Wars Story

A meritless Star Wars movie? More likely than you think

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October 6, 2019

The Little Things

You ever see those adverts for Pepsi? The ones that list off a bunch of adjectives in a row about how great Pepsi is? Lip-smacking, thirst-quenching, ace-tasting, and so on and so forth. I get them stuck in my head a lot, because my useless hellbrain likes to torment me with nonsense that serves no purpose in my day-to-day life.

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October 3, 2019

American Horror Story S9E3: Slashdance

I know last week I asked for American Horror Story to show it’s hand, but this is…well, I’m pretty sure this is the storytelling equivalent of them slicing it off and sending it through the mail to me with a note made up of letters cut from newspaper articles all about violent murder sprees. And I’m not sure what to make of it.

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October 1, 2019

Star Wars Cinematic Universe Retrospective: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Somewhere here, there is a good film.

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October 1, 2019

The Mastery of Marianne

As I write this, I am jetting off to La Belle France avec ma famille for a cheesy beach holiday where I plan to consume my body weight in croissants and roadside crepes. And, well, in keeping with that mood, let’s talk a little about a show that fits the theme, shall we?

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September 30, 2019

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September 26, 2019

American Horror Story S9E2: Mr Jingles

I’m starting to feel like American Horror Story has shown its hand one too many times.

You know? I’m sitting here, watching the second episode of 1984, taking in these little details that the show is sprinkling in to tell us that All Is Not As It Seems. And I know already. I know that! Apocalypse pulled this “twist” nonsense out to ruin my fun, Roanoke did the same, and I’m sure Cult would have tried if there was a single throughline in that show that had lasted more than fifteen minutes. And I can’t help but want them to just hurry up and get there already.

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September 24, 2019

Peaky Blunders: How Peaky Blinders Went Rotten

You girl is on her period and utterly busy-ed out at the moment, so this post comes courtesy of my excellent co-writer over at No But Listen, who has stepped in to vent about a show he hates for your reading pleasure. And also mainly so I don’t have to hear him ranting about it any longer.

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September 23, 2019

Star Wars Cinematic Universe Retrospective: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I just. Want a good Asohka Tano movie. Because this is NOT it.

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