The Cutprice Guignol

I write this on a plane returning from Spain, where I’ve been bouncing around the last few days visiting my family; it’s one of dozens of trips I’ve taken over the course of this decade to chase after my perma-travelling family, and whatever misc. dogs they have managed to acquire along the way.

And, as we draw towards the New Year, it’s hard not to think about the seductive charm of the resolution. Add to the fact that it’s the start of a new decade and it’s like we have to go for the resolution to the tenth degree. Mega-lution. Super-lution. Resolution 2: Resolute Boogaloo. You feel me.

And I’ve always been that person who fucking loves a good life-change. Nothing makes me feel alive like the first few weeks of a new, hastily-applied attitude to the way that I go about my life; who doesn’t love the smug, satisfying sensation of knowing that you’ve finally figured it all out? I’m going to write books, I’m going to get skinny (whoops), I’m going to quit smoking, I’m going to, going to, going to. I’m a serial resolutioner, and the truth is this: it doesn’t bloody work.

Okay, I’m just talking about my own experiences with the grand resolution machine, but I doubt I’m the only one. Ah, yes! The bliss of being able to put off making that Big Change for just another few days, weeks, months – the thrill of knowing that you’re going to put your all into it just as soon as you get past this milestone, and this one, and, well, you wouldn’t want to get into anything too heavy before this one, would you? A new year and a new you and all of that, but a new you only on the comfortable, socially-ensconced schedule that you’ve already put in place, a new you that you’ll figure out down the line when you have to.

But what happens, at least for me, is that these thing slither away into the future over and over again until they never happen the way I wanted them to in the first place. It’s been way too easy, not just with New Year’s resolutions but with the rest of the year, too, to find excuses not to do the difficult thing, the uncomfortable one, because there is always a good reason to put it off.

As soon as you decide to make a big change to the way that you live your life, one that is going to make everything better, run, don’t walk, and fucking do it. This is as much a note to myself as it is to anyone who might be reading this: when it comes to doing the things that you want, the things that will make your life better, skip the New Year’s resolutions, skip the waiting time, and get out there and do it. We only have a few days left till the end of the year, and now is the time to start on the shit that’s going to improve your life, your health, your world in general. Because you deserve a better life now, not at some nebulous point down the line. Go forth and get shit done. I insist.

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