Ah, American Horror Story. Garbage? Yes. Brilliant? Yes. The next season is due out in just a few weeks, so it seems like the time to delve into the show’s, uh, mixed back catalogue – from best to worst, I’m ranking everything this show has injected straight into my veins. You can take a look at my predictions for American Horror Story: 1984 right here, and in the meantime, let’s get some opinions up in this joint!
Wow! It’s American Horror Story-o-clock already? Yes, the first trailer for the next season, subtitled 1984, is here, it’s probably pretty queer, and it’s going to be going ahead without Evan Peters. And hey, as your local cynical American Horror Story scholar, I think it’s only right that I take a look at it, right? To the teaser!
Thanks, I hate it.
Alright, American Horror Story, we need to have a talk.
Because it’s clear you’re in a bad place right now. You’re acting out for attention – we’ve all been there, trust me, here, come sit down and have this tea I made for you. I’m worried. We’re all worried. I just want to talk.
The question I think I have after this episode, Sojourn, is (for once this fucking season) not about the quality of the episode as a whole. It’s why, eight episodes in, Apocalypse has decided to tell its story the way it has.
“Is it really that bad?” My partner asked me this morning, as I was moaning about having to watch and write about another episode of this season.
“Yes,” I replied emphatically, angrily scratching behind the cat’s ears.
“Worse than Coven?” He replied, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.
“Worse than everything.”
Okay, so in this greatest-hits season, we’re finally getting around to some of the songs I can actually sing along to: in Return to Murder House, Emma Roberts and Billy Porter roll back the clock to season one to figure out what the hell has been going on with Michael Langdon, starting with a visit to his original home, the Murder House from the first season. And I loved this season, I really did, so this should have been a win for me. And yet…
Look. I’m trying with this season, I really am. I’m trying not to let my disdain for Coven get in the way of what could be a fun, goofy season, I’m trying not to let this convoluted mega-plot undercut the episode-by-episode entertainment. But this week’s episode, Boy Wonder, a sequel to last week’s outing, was a genuine slog, and I’m starting to wonder if this greatest-hits season has anything to offer but sheer indulgence.
Well, last week, I wondered how on earth this show was going to move forward after it flipped the board so utterly in the last episode. And this week, I have my answer: they’re not. They’re going to go back, instead. And I think – I think – it’s the better choice.
The Cutprice Guignol 