The Cutprice Guignol

Recently, in an endorsement for Kamala Harris, Taylor Swift described herself as a “childless cat lady” – a response, many assumed, to vice presidential hopeful JD Vance’s comment that the USA was run by a bunch of “childless cat ladies”. And this particular moniker, it seems, whether thrown at women in bad faith or reclaimed as a proud title, has been bouncing around the media sphere ever since.

It’s far from the first time that we’ve seen some variation of the “childless cat lady” insult thrown around at women who choose not to get married or have children or otherwise fulfil the traditional familial role dictated to them. From suffragettes written off as old maids bitter about being unmarried to Lori Gilmore finding cats on her doorstep after one too many failed romances, the image of the cat lady as shorthand for the forthright feminist ruining her life by choosing to live without the usual trappings of motherhood and wifedom has been around for, quite literally, generations.

And it’s also a descriptor that very much describes me. I am an unmarried, child-free, cat-loving, feminist woman in her late twenties who very much enjoys her life as it is and has no intentions of changing any of the above descriptors anytime soon. I’ll never say never to anything, as I truly don’t know how I or my life might change in future, but I am truly content with those aspects of my existence.

And I’m not the only one. In the last ten years or so, many studies and research has backed up this stance: that women are, on the whole, happier when they remain unmarried and childless. Not just happier, but often healthier, too. Which casts the pejorative “childless cat lady” stuff into a really interesting – and completely different – light.

And before I go any further, I want to make something clear: I don’t think women who have chosen to have children or get married to men or any combination of the above are inherently some brainwashed agents of the patriarchy who have made a choice against their own better judgement. Some of the women I truly admire most in the world are mothers, and their decision to bear and raise children is one of the things I admire most about them – the dedication and commitment and compassion that has gone into that process is not something that I in any way look down upon. Quite the opposite, actually. When motherhood is a choice made of free will and out of a genuine desire and willingness to raise children as opposed to a cultural force expected of women of child-bearing age, it’s a profound undertaking, and nothing I’m saying in this post is an attempt to discredit that.

But, with that said, when I hear the childless cat lady thing tossed around – when I hear people and especially men warning women of a future without a husband or children, surrounded by cats, I hear something like fear. Because, the truth is, women don’t just survive that kind of life – they, more often than not, thrive in it. By instilling a fear in women of living an unmarried, child-free life, people who seek to force women into fulfilling traditional roles – whether literally or through cultural pressure – try to stigmatize and dismiss a life that works for a lot of women. They’re willing to sacrifice the happiness of so many women, who find genuine contentment in such a life, for the sake of upholding the vague notion of traditional values.

Childless cat ladies – and, indeed, any woman who decides not to fulfil some part of the traditional image of the wife and mother, whatever that might be – are not some miserable nadir of womanhood who should be pitied or dismissed or treated as less-than. A lot of us are doing just fine, actually – better than fine, even. I embrace being a childless cat lady, and all the happiness that comes with it. Apart from all the fur I have to pick off my jackets. That part, I could do without.

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