The Cutprice Guignol

Well, we’ve just bid farewell to another season of Inside No. 9, and I am still thinking about that damn fake bus episode. In the meantime, though, I’d like to talk about some of my favourite episodes of the show to date; in no particular order, because I have a hard enough time picking favourites without having to arrange them individually. I’d love to hear about your favourites (and how wrong you think I am, of course) – let’s get into it!

The Referee’s a Wanker

I will never hear the words “San Siro” without thinking of this episode, I tell you. Referee is a brilliant one-act play, a bottle episode taking place in a football dressing room that perfectly captures that mix of absurdity and utter, fire-in-the-eyes passion that comes with really loving a football team. It’s one of my all-time favourite David Morrissey performances, as the titular Wanker, and I think anyone who loves football just gets this. Would I do this for Leeds United? Unfortunately, yes.

Love is a Stranger

I don’t think it’ll come as a surprise to anyone that I am feral about Love is a Stranger, even though it only came out a few weeks ago. It’s just such a masterpiece of storytelling, a collection of short stories wrapped around the twist-within-a-twist at the episode’s heart. It’s tender, heartfelt, gory, and outrageously funny all at once – Frances Barber’s icy guest spot might be one of the best of the whole show – and, for me, it’s one of the most impressive single episodes of TV I’ve ever seen.

Sardines

Sardines was the very first episode of Inside No. 9, and I think it sometimes gets forgotten in the best-of lists because of it’s status as a functional pilot, but it really is a total stunner. The claustrophobic comedy-of-manners is so beautifully unravelled, and the performances are perfectly-pitched, restrained in that awfully British way that leads to an explosive finale. As a sign of the great things to come, and an example of those great things in it’s own right, it’s a perfect opener.

The Devil of Christmas

The grotesque video nasty vibes of Devil of Christmas have always gotten under my skin in a way almost nothing else in the show has. The pitch-perfect writing and direction to give this an era-appropriate feel just adds to the uneasy, uncanny atmosphere. The director’s commentary voiceover (courtesy of the exquisitely brilliant Derek Jacobi, who returned for How Do You Plead a few years later) slowly unravelling into that horrific finale really feels, to me, like watching some hideous old VHS rip on the dark web, and it’s one of the few episodes that’s actually turned my stomach.

Merrily, Merrily

Every now and then, Inside No. 9 does a really serious episode, and Merrily, Merrily is, for me, the best of the lot. A meditation of grief, loss, friendship, and the distance that forms between us and the people we care for, it’s a short story set in a pedalo boat that leads to an epic Charon-esque encounter with the afterlife, and I think it’s fucking fantastic. Mark Gatiss’ return to work with previous League of Gentlemen collaborators Shearsmith and Pemberton is the cherry on top, and a perfect meta-reflection of the themes of friends from another time.

Hurry Up and Wait

And now, on to a distinctly un-serious one. Hurry Up and Wait is on this list for the sheer fucking audacity, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The screech I let out at the twist is still echoing around the hills to this day, and the deliberate wrong-footing as the plot leads you to one conclusion only to hit you with another is a deliciously fun conceit. Pitch-black comedy and gleefully hasty horror, it’s the objective ideal of an Inside No. 9 episode for me.

The Bill

I love when Inside No. 9 does a horror episode that’s purely based around social interaction – as an anxious wreck myself, it just makes sense – but the controlled chaos and escalation in The Bill makes this one the most memorable for me. Philip Glenister slots into the show’s tone really well, and the way this story explodes outward is so much fun to watch – you can never guess where it’s going next, but it’s sure as hell going to be messy. Like overhearing a really juicy gossip session on a bus, The Bill has that scandalously fun feel we all like to indgule in from time to time.

Nana’s Party

Nana’s Party is a tonal assault that has you on the edge of your seat expecting the worst at every given moment. It’s such an uneasy episode, a small snippet of a long-running family saga that’s pushed everyone at Nana’s party to the very edge. Weird, bleak, and genuinely affecting, it’s an episode that only Inside No. 9 could ever have pulled off, and it deserves a whole lot of credit for that.

The Stakeout

Alright, yeah, you got me – I love vampire stuff and puns, alright? And The Stakeout has those in spades, as a pair of cops deal with one very eventful night. It’s a really re-watchable episode, with all the little references to vampure lore scattered throughout, and it’s really just a two-hander between Shearsmith and pemberton, and watching the two of them bounce off each other is one of the great joys of watching Inside No. 9

I’d love to hear what some of your favourite episodes are! Drop them in the comments, and let’s talk (or argue). If you liked this article and want to see more stuff like it, please check out the rest of my Inside No. 9 reviews.  I’d also love it if you would check out my horrible short story collection, and, if you’d like to support my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon!

(header image via BBC)