I’ve done several new things of late. One of them was going to a club for the first time. Predictably, I didn’t like it. The glamorous establishment, known as “Dusk”, was the purveyor of one-pound drinks and pumping choons. I wouldn’t have minded, but the one time I did elbow my way into the slithering pit of writhing bodies and practically liquid pheromone (the dance bit), me and my male friend were forced into comedy slow-motion mime falling over by a couple getting to a Canadian third base right next to us.
On a related note, I am currently festooned with club paraphernalia. It was given for me to free and, in my defense, they were quick and I was hungover. In addition to a stubborn wristband, flyers and badges, all adorned with the bright neon Refreshers Week logo that makes my eyes smart a little, they also have themed condoms. Normal condoms have been snazzed up with these bright stickers, so you can catch a glimpse as you go to use it at some point during the week and remember that you’re probably going to get an STD anyway.
I’ve also started listening to Aim & Ignite, which is an excellent album that I heartily recommend. It’s the 2009 debut album by your band fun. (of We Are Young fame), and you should listen to it. And not just the singles. I’ll know.
The third and final thing is this: my blog (two words that strike fear into the hearts of rational men) recently hit a thousand views after being around for four months. I assume that means someone somewhere is reading it. If this person is you, and you like what you’ve read, it’d be just the tops if you’d point people in the direction of The Cutprice Guignol or subscribe or some shite. Writing is what I do for money and the more popular this blog is the better. Cheers. To continue the theme of pulicity whoring, here are a list of famous porn websites to trick people into reading: redtube, youporn, pornhub, redporn, youhub, redhub, porntube.